motivational coach sheli G

Posts tagged ‘Speaking’

You Can’t Buy Mastery

Twenty years ago, I watched phenomenal facilitators work with people in human development. I studied and listened in awe while they, as we say in Personal Development Land, “processed” their students. These facilitators or coaches would do focused work with the students, from the students point of tension, pain or confusion. The facilitator would guide them, as the student was willing, to the other side, or at least help them to take some real some steps forward. This experiential learning is profound in both business settings, or personal growth.

I was amazed.

It was incredible to see these coaches real-time, and watch as their intuitive hits rang spot on, nearly every time they spoke. What?? Yes.

In my naiveté I wondered… how do they know? How do they see what’s behind the mask of emotion, the story, the walls, or the rhetoric? How did they know that person was ready to finally breakthrough or scale? Now, I know.

masks

It’s a calling.

Sounds spiritual. And…I believe it is. When you step into your calling, purpose or cause, the greatest parts of you are unlocked and ignited. Your intuitive or spiritual self combines with your ability, education and effort. When you find the thing or things that you were created to do, if you’re aware, you know.

And then there’s the final key to mastery, time. You can’t quick-link to that level of mastery simply from text books, teachers and mentors. You can’t metabolize quotes, information or inspiration, such that you can just propel it forward into others, with spot on timing and nearly flawless delivery.

When someone who isn’t ready attempts a mastery level role, their students or employees won’t find as much value.

women entrepreneur

The gold, magic and pure power of experience,  collaborates to bring all your raw talent and passion together.  It’s hard to articulate if you’ve never experienced it yourself.

I studied hard. I was trained, mentored, and certified in personal development and business consulting. #serialentrepreneur I worked and I served for countless hours. Years of being a committed, consistent student, working from where I was, both failing and succeeding along the way… and yet reaching for mastery. Those are the touchstones of my capacity to deliver my work today. And I just adore what I do.

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The Big Mistake…
Is- skipping parts of this rights-of-passage process, because of impatience, poor mentoring, ego or entitlement. To be exceptional, your mastery levels must always be humbly, earned.

Don’t skip any part of the perfect process that these elements will bring to your practice, cause or calling. The old truth of 10,000 hours of experience, or something like that, truly is the golden key that brings your vision to fruition.

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The Secret
Humility reminds you to take the journey, with no shortcuts. Humility… when you know that there is so much yet to learn about, experience and understand. And when you reach a mastery level, you will know. But, you will still make mistakes. And you won’t think of the epic successes as yours, but they will belong to your clients, and those you mentor.

And as you continue, more humility greets you with the kiss of knowing, that we are all equally called to greatness. No one is ever bigger or smaller in the circle. It’s not about Race. Geography. Gender. Profession. Religion. The big difference is, only some say yes to the call.

Say Y E S

Career pic

Sheli G
Speaker | Team Igniter | Comedian | Author
sheligcoaching@gmail.com | http://www.SheliG.com

10 Surprising Comparisons: Eagles and Leaders

eagle 1

The bald eagle (Haliaeetus leucocephalus), the US national bird, is the only eagle unique to North America.
Eagles are large, powerfully built birds of prey

Let’s look at some very interesting comparisons between the World Changing Leader and the Eagle. Some may surprise you…

10) Eagles sit at the top of the food chain. This makes them more vulnerable to toxic chemicals in the environment, since each link in the food chain tends to concentrate chemicals from the lower link.

As a leader, there are many dynamics at play when you are at “The Top”.

eagle top

Zig Ziglar’s famous book, “See you at the Top” written some twenty five years ago wasn’t the first nor will it be the last to attract leaders globally with the focus of being at the top! But what does that mean? To be a leader is a huge responsibility. To whom much is given, much is certainly expected. When you rise up to significant leadership positions of a company or a team, you will have all eyes on you for stand-apart organizational and inspirational direction. However, I find that most leaders, myself included- are much harder on ourselves.

We set our own bar EXCEPTIONALLY (freakin) HIGH.

As we work with people, we find that we are deeply involved/invested in their professional bliss, and their challenges. But we also find ourselves in the midst of their personal ups and downs too. Leadership today isn’t a neatly compartmentalized system. Leaders come along side of the people looking to us for inspired direction, and we do not draw those Black and White lines in the sand. So- we as leaders find ourselves exposed. We are exposed to people’s tragedies, toxins and toils. A World Changing leader knows how to authentically help and direct, but not to metabolize and hang on to those toxins inwardly.

9) Eyesight – An eagle’s eye is at least four times as powerful and sharp as that of a person with perfect vision.

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What is it like, to see clearly from miles and miles away- when others can only see in the short distance? World Changers must be able to not only grasp a vision that inspires themselves, but they must be able to articulate that vision outward, and enroll others successfully into that picture. 

8) Eagles do not sweat, so they use many other creative cool-down methods.

I know- Leaders DO sweat. 🙂

BUT World Changing Leaders don’t show it. Today’s leader knows when to be vulnerable. To be authentic and real in a country where we have a lot of uber superficiality that is promoted- isn’t easy. *I am a big fan of the Leader that understands the necessity and timing of intentional Vulnerability.

https://embracereal.wordpress.com/2013/09/20/leadersblack/

That said, our teams and companies do not need to see us sweat, ie; panic, freak out, over-react, project frustration onto them, or make irrational accusations or decisions. We have all seen leadership like that, be they owners, managers, team leaders or (gulp) the government. What our teams DO need to see from us, is our intentional cool/calm down methods, and come back to them clear, grounded, inspired and ready to continue partnering with them to get through the eye of any storm, together.

7) Eagles tolerate VERY cold temperatures.  A bald eagle’s skin is protected by feathers lined with down. Their feet are cold resistant.

Leaders can take subzero temperatures.

Economy turns. Employee challenges. Stiff Competition. Cultural Apathy. The most difficult decisions. High Stakes meetings. Pressure. Extreme COLD and extreme HEAT.

Simon Cowell, creator of American Idol, once told Oprah Winfrey “I have to be that tough on the contestants. If they cannot handle me, my feedback and challenging them, they are no where near ready to face Hollywood and the cold hard press.” How very true. Likewise, if you are too sensitive and defensive, taking everything personally, you will never make it long term as a manager or Entrepreneur. It will destroy you. Not everyone is cut out for the pressure. We all have different, amazing gifts. That is the beautiful thing.

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6) Beak.  A Bald Eagle’s beak is a strong weapon, but is also delicate enough to groom a mate’s feathers or feed a small portion of food to a newly hatched chick. The beak of a captive eagle is not worn down naturally, so it must be trimmed annually.

I think this is a great metaphor for our powerful voice as a leader.

finding-your-voice

Leaders do well when they are passionate, eloquent, profound, and phenomenal speakers; from the large crowds to an intimate one on one. Our words have the power to heal, help, and honor. Our words can also wound, tear, and destroy. We must be vigilant to be truly responsible for what we say. Are our words valuable, helpful, wise and thought out? If not, trim back the beak! Get a Life and Leadership Mastery Coach to objectively help. And remember, an “I’m sorry” from a leader is powerful- when it’s authentic. We all screw things up sometimes. World Changers own their mistakes.

5) Talons.  Eagles can open and close their talons at will. If an eagle is dragged into the water by a fish too large for the eagle to lift, it is because the eagle refuses to release it. In some cases this is due to hunger.

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My friend and mentor Les Brown says “You’ve got to be HUNGRY!”

Hungry IS good. But, scarcity; emotionally, physically, financially, or spiritually for too long- isn’t good. When the fish is too big, or you are not ready, drop it before YOU go completely under. There was a time many years ago that after economic turns, competitive pressures, and a bogus former employee law suit all came into play… I realized that a business I had started, also needed to come to a close. It wasn’t easy at that time. I had prepared for the GO GO GO do do do! I had not realized that some dreams are for a time, and they are meant to end too. Those are the lessons, and our teachers, and they are for a time. It’s OK. If a business, relationship, habit, behavior, addiction, job, or whatever is dragging you under, please- don’t go down with the Titanic. Open your talons and let go! Create the space in your hands and heart for the magnificent fish that is coming, that is the perfect one for RIGHT NOW.

4) Most Birds of Prey look back over their shoulder before they move forward in a hunt. Not Eagles.

Some look back. Don’t.

In my favorite book it says: “Forgetting what is behind, and reaching forth unto what lies ahead. I press on towards the goal!” Phil 3:13.

We cannot actually forget the past. But we can absolutely learn from it, move on from it, and put our energy into this very moment and beyond. That is what future achievements are made up of… starting right NOW. It’s about this moment. Let us begin.

3) Eagles Glide.

With a massive wingspan of up to eight feet, their wings victoriously spread out wide.

To help them soar, eagles use thermals which are rising currents of warm air. Soaring or gliding is accomplished with minimal wing-flapping, enabling them to conserve precious energy. Long-distance flights are accomplished by climbing high in a thermal, then gliding downward to catch the next thermal. Their wings are strong but heavy, so this is a VITAL part of the survival mechanism of the Eagle. Eagles are considered master fliers. They can fly to heights that no other bird can. They have been seen flying as high as some of our airplanes fly.

Several eagles soaring in a thermal together is described as a “Kettle of Eagles.”

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So World Changers… jump off that cliff. You were born to. You were trained and educated to. You must! Find the warm winds. Use your powerful wings. But also remember to glide, rest, meditate, and lean on your amazing team. Don’t pump those huge wings all the time! You don’t need too, and you may burn out. Soar when you can. You will need that energy later.

2) Though eagles mate for life, they often fly alone.

World Changing Leaders are loyal. We care about relationships and have learned how to succeed in them. Our families are very important to us.

There are days when leaders feel alone. Make sure that when you need help- you reach out for it. Find a “Kettle of Eagles” to fly in; a mastermind group, a Master Life Coach, a small group that you can be supported by, collaborate and laugh with. World changers do not have to do it all alone.

1) Eagles Live on Higher Ground.Don’t ever sell out!

World Changers are honest. They are compassionate. They give. They give when no one knows they are giving. They don’t create followers, they help support other emerging leaders! They take the high road, the road much less traveled. And that WILL make all the difference. World Changers live on Higher Ground.

world changer

Many Blessings,
sheli  G
CILC | CMC | CEBC
www.shelig.com
CEO Women Ignite Idaho Conference and Trade Show
WomenIgniteIdaho.com
International Speaker
Master Certified Business Coach
World Changer Leadership & Life Mastery Coach
“It’s time to ignite the World Changer in YOU!” ~sheli G

Facebook LinkedIn WordPress YouTube pinterest
Contact me: Skype coach.sheli

Snorting Coffee

So I was getting ready to speak.

sheli g 2 vid 4

We have a super cool local networking group in Idaho, lead by the amazing Brandon Wright, you can find them here:   https://www.facebook.com/HuddleShareSmokeOutGroup

I absolutely love to speak. And I, like most speakers, have my own ” Pre-game rituals ” if you will. You know, all those things that especially when you give a presentation you make sure that you do, to be on your “A” game, to feel really grounded and well prepared. So I did what all good speakers do: I kicked my family out of the house so I could study.  🙂  I made a fabulous cup of Joe. I hunkered down at the computer to hang out with Google and my stuff.

I took a big drink of my organic coffee with Coconut Vanilla creamer…YUM…..and then, it happened.

I got a little tickle in my throat.

A seemingly harmless, normally no big deal tickle. But, my throat decided the tickle was a terrorist, and chose to cough it out, HARD!  So I knew what I had to do…I held it in.

I had to hold it in.

I had my computer, keyboard, papers, iPhone… all in my line of fire and at high risk at this point. I had to soldier up, and hold that bad boy down….regardless. But this cough, it was relentless. Oh I held it down…BUT, I somehow snorted the coffee that was in my mouth, up my nasal passage the back way. Yes, yes it did come out my nose. Interesting sensation much.

SNORT-COFFEE
After the initial nasal caffeinated shock…it was funny. Very funny. I started to laugh, which made me snort again, because I am a snorter. (I just had never reverse snorted before.) I was like, “If they could only see me now; no makeup, sitting in my BSU pajamas, reverse snorting coffee…what a classy lady!!!”
It was actually a fabulous start to my morning. Laughter…it’s so incredibly important!
 

“There are a lot of performers who make people laugh. There are a lot of speakers who give solid principles for living. I want to do both.” ~Mark Gungor

Statistics show that little kids laugh 400 times a day. One study showed that adults laugh only eleven, or less.
What does Laughter do for us?
  • Boost the immune system and circulatory system
  • Enhance oxygen intake
  • Stimulate the heart and lungs
  • Relax muscles throughout the body
  • Trigger the release of endorphins (the body’s natural painkillers)
  • Ease digestion/soothes stomach aches
  • Relieve pain
  • Balance blood pressure
  • Improve mental functions (i.e., alertness, memory, creativity)
  • Improve overall attitude
  • Reduce stress/tension
  • Promote relaxation
  • Improve sleep
  • Enhance quality of life
  • Strengthen social bonds and relationships
  • Produce a general sense of well-being

I was at the Les Brown Speakers boot-camp. Les Brown is considered the Best Inspirational Speaker in the world, now that the great Zig Ziglar has passed on. He laughs so hard, SO often. You get your monies worth out of every event he puts on, just because you laugh so much and feel so good!  I noticed, as a speaker, I was holding back my laughter much of the time.  I believe it was a subconscious reaction, because my laugh is often really loud, and I snort! So when using a microphone, this is all amplified. But I realized after watching him just let it rip, that I was ripping off myself and my audience. Laughter is one of the best things ever, to relax your audience, and prepare them. Right after someone laughs, their defenses are down but for a moment in time, and you can deliver that deep thought seamlessly.

laughing

So laugh.

Don’t take yourself so seriously. Have fun. MAKE some fun. And try snorting coffee. You and your sinuses will never be so clear.

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sheli  G
CILC | CMC | CEBC

www.shelig.com
International Speaker
Master Certified Business Coach
World Changer Leadership & Life Mastery Coach
“It’s time to unleash the World Changer in YOU!” ~sheli G


Connect with me on:
https://embracereal.wordpress.com
http://www.facebook.com/sheliGinspires
http://www.youtube.com/user/coachsheliG
http://www.linkedin.com/in/shelig
https://twitter.com/sheliGinspires
http://pinterest.com/sheligcoaching

5 Women Leaders Who Inspire Me

” I will not just live my life. I will not just spend my life. I will INVEST my life.” ~ Helen Keller

helen keller at 40

Helen Keller’s almost inconceivable journey from her childhood struggles to communicate with anyone due to her many disabilities, to a woman of victory, clarity in purpose, and being the World Changer she still is globally- is in my opinion one of the greatest heroine stories of the 20th century.

Helen’s triumph as a young deaf-blind girl, with her incredible teacher Anne Sullivan mentoring her, is but the beginning of her story. Her leadership skills would be used for activism, in a time that it was very difficult for women to be respected for being outspoken, and taking on the system. She opened the gateway for not only people with disabilities to imagine miracles coming in and through their lives, but she educated those without disabilities, that it IS a disability to limit others with our judgement. She modeled to us that disabilities are just challenges, that like all of us, we can overcome with hard work and determination.

Helen pushed for epic changes in the law, and created a place in our culture for people with disabilities to move from the hidden places, to mainstream education and employment opportunities. Her advancements have helped not only those with disabilities, but have inspired women of all backgrounds and races to realize what a difference one passionate voice can make. –Great leaders harness and use their strengths, and don’t let their perceived weaknesses stop them. 

 

” Love cannot remain by itself,  it has no meaning. Love has to be put into action, and that action is SERVICE . ” ~Mother Teresa

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Mother Teresa Devoted her entire adult life to the service and care of the poor, oppressed and the dying. It seemed almost inconceivable, until she did it, with humility. She also struggled with her own dragons so to speak, as we all do. Battling Depression and loneliness, Mother Teresa still chose service to others as her ultimate goal and purpose. She became a global icon for truly selfless Christ-like service to others. She personally cared for 1000’s of sick and dying people in Calcutta, and trained countless other volunteers, staff and as many as would listen, how to do the same.  She was awarded the Nobel Peace prize in 1979. She honored others religious beliefs, while standing very firm in her own. She was known to be incredibly respectful to other cultures, races and traditions. She focused on showing others the pure and holy love of God, in big and small ways every day, until her death. –Great leaders always give more than they take.

 

“ The only tired I was, was tired of GIVING IN ” ~Rosa Parks

rosa parks

Rosa Parks refused to give up her bus seat to a white man on Dec 1st 1955.  This was the beginning of what led to some of the most significant civil rights legislation of American history.
“Each person must live their life as a model for others.”~ Rosa Parks   (can I hear an AMEN here!)
Rosa was an African-American civil rights activist whom the U.S. Congress called the “Mother of the Modern-Day Civil Rights Movement”. WOW!
Her arrest and trial for this “act of civil disobedience” on Dec 1st in the refusal of giving up her seat on the bus, triggered the Montgomery Bus Boycott; one of the largest and most successful mass movements against racism and segregation in our history. This also launched the highly influential Martin Luther King, Jr., one of the promoters of the boycott, to the main-stage of the civil rights movement. Rosa’s role in history earned her an iconic status in American culture. Her life and brave, committed actions have left an enduring legacy for civil rights movements, and all women around the world. –Great leaders sacrifice and risk, to pave the way for others behind them to have more opportunities.
“No longer do you have the luxury of being a bench-warmer. Today is the day to declare and step out with your gifts and share them with the world. THIS IS IT! This is your year. This is the year that you can make a huge impact in the world.” ~Arvee Robinson
arvee career1
Arvee Robinson is a Master speaker trainer and persuasive speaking coach. She teaches business owners, service professionals and entrepreneurs how to use public speaking as a marketing strategy so they can grow their business and get their message out to the world. As a high-energy motivational speaker, Arvee has shared the stage with speaking giants such as: Mark Victor Hansen, Loral Langemeier, Chris Howard, and many more. Her training and coaching programs transform ordinary business professionals to superstars in their industry.
I personally have been trained and coached by Arvee. Her passion, organization, vision and compassion make her one of the top leaders in her field today.Great leaders inspire others to do more, tell more and BE MORE.
 “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed ONLY ONE. Mary has chosen what is better.” ~ Jesus re: Mary & Martha
mary w jesus

The story is told in the Bible in Luke 10, of two sisters, Mary and Martha. Jesus comes to visit them, and Martha is busy with (the always endless!) household chores, while Mary sits at the feet of Jesus. Martha complains to Jesus that she’s doing all the work.  Jesus encourages her to be more like Mary.  Martha was too busy being, well… just busy. Meanwhile, Mary realized that to sit and learn at Jesus feet was far more important in that precious moment. Which would you choose. What would you choose today? –Great leaders know how to prioritize, and seize profound priceless opportunities to grow.

If you know a woman who has inspired you with her story, please comment on this blog and give her some well deserved props!

PLEASE Like, send and share this blog if it touched you. Thank you 🙂

Many Blessings,

 
sheli  G
CILC | CMC | CEBC

www.shelig.com

Certified International Business, Leadership & Life Success Coach

www.shelig.com

EXPOSED. Opportunity, or Overwhelm?

exposure

What opportunities should I take? AND What do I pass on?

It’s the toughest question since the recession. People still spend their money and time. Opportunities are bombarding us from every angle  more than ever. From the people around us, to our online activity, to our cell phones bringing all our contacts and options to us 24/7… it’s endless. (until you shut it DOWN) 🙂

Business owners DO still need to invest in themselves, and their businesses to adapt, and move forward at the speed of the culture and their own dreams. This will never change.

SO- where do the people you want to be like when you “grow up”, or go to your next LEVEL UP hang out? What are they doing? What is working for them? What challenges you about your business and your life right now, and who knows how to navigate that? Who has been there and has some keys?

The Gathering Choose in

Forget about the places that we used to network at. (at least re-think them. ALL of them.)

Forget about business and activity that doesn’t result in either a direct deposit to your bottom line, or you truly developing as a leader and a person. Forget about the things you have always done in the past, or were committed to, or served on the board of (or committee of, yikes) … if they are not serving you anymore, or you just know it’s time for the new. Forget about places, people and events, if you leave them unmoved, unchanged, and drained.

Go where inspiration, innovation and collaboration COLLIDE… at sometimes even an alarming rate! Have some adrenaline charged fun expanding, challenging yourself and others, and hanging out with the passionate, driven people making their visions a tangible reality today. Life is urgent and precious. What legacy are you leaving behind if you drifted away in your sleep tonight?

sheli g.com use your wings

Start living the bucket list NOW. You were given your visions and dreams because God thought YOU were the one to set them free and see them through. Prove him right.

 

Many Blessings,
sheli  G
CILC | CMC | CEBC

www.shelig.com
International Speaker
Master Certified Business Coach
World Changer Leadership & Life Mastery Coach
“It’s time to unleash the World Changer in YOU!” ~sheli G

Connect with me on:
https://embracereal.wordpress.com
http://www.facebook.com/sheliGinspires
http://www.youtube.com/user/coachsheliG
http://www.linkedin.com/in/shelig
https://twitter.com/sheliGinspires
http://pinterest.com/sheligcoaching

www.shelig.com

The Explosive power of the Collective

happy meeting

Mastermind Groups.

We have all heard of them. IF you have not been in a GREAT one, you are missing an incredible  amount of opportunity to expand yourself, your business, and your INCOME- in record time.

What is a Mastermind? (just a room full of superegos?)

I am glad you asked. A GOOD mastermind is not about stroking egos. (unless that is the intention of the group)

A Mastermind by definition is: a person who grows, makes or invents things, someone who has exceptional intellectual ability and originality, a person who plans and directs skillfully. In a Mastermind group or team, you simply add the collective to this, *which significantly amplifies the results. (YES!)

Collaboration is: to work jointly with others especially in an intellectual endeavor. Collaboration is the key to unlocking objective, exponential ideas, unlimited resources, power connections and critical information.

The Gathering Choose in

What’s the best Mastermind Team for me?

You deserve to be a part of a Mastermind team that has something in common with you and where you are going, or what your highest intention is. Are you just wanting a free, casual, non-accountable group? Or a higher level one where the members expect real, tangible growth? There is no right or wrong here, but there is a big difference.

There are different kinds of groups which can be brilliantly collaborative, like: Entrepreneurs, Sales, Marketing, Start Ups, Christian Business Owners, Women’s groups and Men’s groups. Sometimes the varying backgrounds can be a massive opportunity to support one another and get support, since we all know our strengths and challenges, and develop a well oiled reciprocating system that pays huge dividends.

The Leader of the Mastermind

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Listen- your Mastermind will be as good as it’s leader. Period.

The Best Mastermind groups are run by leaders who have 1) Achieved measurable, obvious success in the area they are facilitating! 2) Have a proven system in place from start to finish that efficiently guides all the brainpower in the room (otherwise it’s chaos)  3) A never-ending desire to grow themselves and 4) A desire to genuinely help their students with compassion and truth in their journey.

Objectivity

circle of people

The good news is: Mastermind groups that are working WELL are objective, and sometimes even brutally honest. The truth is, you may not always like what you hear. You may hear things like: “Your website sucks- and Aunt Margaret should NOT have created it for you.” You may hear that your power point presentation puts people to sleep. You may hear that your attire or professional appearance needs an update (asap). You may hear that you need to spend more money to make more money. In fact, the high level Mastermind groups cost significant money. AND- they are worth it.

The good news is: you DESERVE to hear the objective feedback, both nice and not, to expand and grow yourself and your income rapidly, which is why most of us are in a Mastermind group.

The other good news is: you will receive a tremendous amount of affirmation about your strengths, gifts and abilities, perhaps even in areas you did not have on your radar before!

Got Results?

It’s like a Purse (or a Murse if you are a man), YOU GET OUT OF IT WHAT YOU you YOU PUT INTO IT. Period. There is no magic pill or cliffs-notes here. If you cheat- you cheat yourself, as well as the group. So doing the risk-taking goal setting, the homework, the calls, the meetings, and spending the time, money, energy… and risking questioning everything you are currently doing- ready to let go of what you need to… all of that makes this game really work.  So it ain’t for the weary, the victims, the overly prideful or the frauds.

The Bottom Line.

IF you do all the work, and truly play to win on every level, you will be absolutely thrilled with what you get out of it. And, MORE importantly in the big picture, you will love the giving. What can you offer and give to others? You have unique skills, strengths, gifts, and experiences. In the end, we feel the best when we give to and serve others. This is still a key to why most people who we deem “successful” got where they are. It’s not all about you.

Email me if you are interested in a mastermind, we will find you a compatible one, Let’s SCALE!

Helping Hand

Many Blessings,
sheli  G
L81C8894-Edit[1]
CILC | CMC | CEBC
www.shelig.com
CEO Women Ignite Idaho Conference and Trade Show
WomenIgniteIdaho.com
FB wii 6 5
International Speaker
Master Certified Business Coach
World Changer Leadership & Life Mastery Coach
“It’s time to ignite the World Changer in YOU!” ~sheli G

Facebook LinkedIn WordPress YouTube pinterest
Contact me: Skype coach.sheli

 

6 Signs your EGO is bigger than your MOJO

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If you’re reading this, you may actually be OK in this area. 🙂

The title of this blog alone will scare some large ego’s away. But in a culture that thrives on ego based everything…chances are we still have some work to do on this.

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6 Signs your EGO is bigger than your MOJO

  • When how you look, your reputation, your brand or business Persona is more important than making a positive difference really is. (which one do you think about or worry about more?)
  • When you are leading, teaching, coaching or speaking, and someone has a negative response to what you say, and this totally spins you personally.
  • When you are more worried about being right, than: taking a step back to look at the other persons point of view, or looking at the greater good of the whole, or having the relationship stay intact.
  • When you keep telling the same “success” stories about yourself, or things that make you look good, when you realize those are old stories and you need new ones.
  • When you speak from your head most of the time, vs. your compassion.
  • If your friends and employees were anonymously polled, would they say you had a bigger EGO? or HEART?

Goals must never be from your ego, but problems that cry for a solution.
~Robert H. Schuller

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Many Blessings,

 

sheli  G
CILC | CMC | CEBC

www.shelig.com
International Speaker
Master Certified Business Coach
World Changer Leadership & Life Mastery Coach

 

“It’s time to unleash the World Changer in YOU!” ~sheli G

Connect with me on:
https://embracereal.wordpress.com
http://www.facebook.com/sheliGinspires
http://www.youtube.com/user/coachsheliG
http://www.linkedin.com/in/shelig
https://twitter.com/sheliGinspires
http://pinterest.com/sheligcoaching

www.shelig.com

Do I “Unhook” from Negative Nellies??

anrgy birds

In Personal/Spiritual Development Land, I hear this a lot:

“Cut negative people out of your life. You don’t need them. You cannot go where you deserve to with them in your life”

It’s a classic “Empowerment Challenge”. But it has never fully resonated with me. What about you?

Here are a few thoughts on why cutting everyone in a “negative space” out of your life may not always be best.

  • THE negative one may be a family member.
  • You may work with them, or they may be your boss!
  • They are going through a temporary rough patch.
  • When YOU are the Negative Nellie or Nelson.
  • How can we “Be the change we wish to see in the World”… if we only connect with the easy, fun, already happy ones?
  • It may be our own perception or projection, that is judging or viewing them as a negative influence.

When they are a family member.

By all means you can draw healthy boundaries. (book by Dr Cloud & Dr. Townsend)

boundaries book pic

I am not saying roll over, or take abuse of any kind from anyone. I AM saying think about it. If you pray or meditate, do that. I did have to draw a boundary with a family member. She had been through a super hard time. But it came to a place of toxicity in her words mostly, that I had to draw a boundary and not have her around or communicate with her at all. The good news is, I made it clear that this was her choice, that if she went back to honoring our family with respect and kindness, that our relationship would be restored, and it was. Every case is different! If you are abused etc, you need professional help to navigate those choices. ( Google it ) But this is more for every day dealings, when family members are on a lesser scale of challenging or destructive. ~Calm down, get advice from a healthy person, and think about it before you take action. (* A Life Coach or Counselor is skilled in this area)

When you work with him or her. 

You have a lot at stake in this case. If you treat them in ways the company or managers don’t approve of, you may lose your job. People around you get very uncomfortable with conflict. One scenario I know was so bad, that even though BOTH sales people were top producers in the WEST, the company felt they had to choose 1 and move on, to re-build more positive energy in the workplace. Also if it’s your boss, watch out. Their ego alone, and/or their position of having more of a voice in everything than you, makes it nearly impossible to be their breakthrough buddy on “their issues”. Again, this is assuming you are right, and sometimes you may not be. SO- is it worth risking your job? If you are open to this: think about it before spouting off.  (and never spout in an email, it’s cowardly) I used to liken myself when I am really passionate to Joan of Arc, until a wise mentor reminded me that Joan was burned at the stake, at a young age. Sometimes it’s not our battle to fight. And guess what?! ~Often times there are similar people at the next job too.

Sometimes the tough space they are in is temporary.

Very often this is true. Are you going to bail the minute they are struggling? Overall- has the connection been healthy? Is this time temporary? Is there a greater window of grace they deserve from you? For most of us, tough times cycle through. ~They don’t last forever.

Remember, YOU may at some point be the “Negative Nellie” or “Nelson”.

I’ve been there. I think we all have. I am thankful for friends, family and mentors that saw me through. It’s also good to remember when we are going through Hell, keep on going until you are through. ~Don’t be abusive (verbally, physically, emotionally….) to anyone, in any way while you are in the funk.

Where does “Be the Difference..” come into play?

If you think of yourself as a spiritual or good person, then dig deep into the work of relationships. Some are easy, and some are super hard! That is the deal. If you are a leader, teacher, coach, counselor or general do-gooder…then go the extra mile. Breakthrough your own triggers, associations and shortfalls in the process. Expand. Again, I’m not advocating staying in abuse. ~I am saying that if we want to be the light in the dark, we must confront the dark and bring the light to dispel the dark. If not you, then who? If not today, then when?

MLK love can do that

Projection, Perception and the Shadow of self.

OK I know, that is a lot of psychological words right there…but Google it 🙂 What we are struggling with in ourselves, is often what drives us crazy about others. For example: Right now, on a scale of 1-10, 1 being not very much, to 10 being totally- 100%… RATE how much do YOU trust OTHERS… ( close your eyes & just do it! )  🙂

Usually, how high you rate others, is actually how you rate YOURSELF as trustworthy. This is just 1 example. Also, the Shadow side of our psychology might suggest that what repels us from others, is something we lack, or that we need to work on in ourselves. The “Workaholic” looks down on the guy that gets enough work done in 4 days, and then goes to the beach to surf non-stop for 3 days. One possible reason is envy, which is actually just his internal signal that the Workaholic deserves joy, play and a more balanced life too, but is struggling to get there.

I suggest, as long as you’re safe, that we learn to love, work with, tolerate and mentor each other. We learn more from the challenging relationships and struggles in life than we would by ourselves, “happy” on an island. ~Let us do the work, and learn how to reach and teach everyone who is willing.

Many Blessings,
sheli  G
CILC | CMC | CEBC

www.shelig.com
International Speaker
Master Certified Business Coach
World Changer Leadership & Life Mastery Coach
“It’s time to unleash the World Changer in YOU!” ~sheli G


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www.shelig.com

“Fearless” is a buzz word

sheli g vid 7

There are many, in my humble opinion, overused words today designed like keywords, or saturated sales pitches in their very intention.

Context is King (or Queen) so I don’t want to dis anyone’s book, song, or quote. BUT, for my business, I don’t coach or consult clients or groups I speak to, to try to attain or maintain a “FEARLESS life”.

  • I think being “fearless” all or most of the time is difficult, and perhaps impossible to attain as a long term sustainable model.
  • Being “fearless” sounds good, so it sells. But can you really buy it?
  • Fear has a purpose at times, and therefore is valuable.

To many people, living a “fearless life” sounds hip. But who can say they get to a place where they never have a fear again? If my 7 year old runs into the busy street, (which he has done a few times!) it totally sends shock waves of fear throughout my body. I think every parent would agree. So- is being fearless even something I want to try to attain? Plus, the research shows: putting goals in front of people that are impossible to achieve is the most UN-motivating thing you can do. Maybe it’s not a good personal development tool, after all.

Fear5

It is true, too many people live in too much fear, too much of the time. But again, I ask if it is a campaign with any integrity; to sell something because you know it sounds fabulous to the masses- but it is perhaps impossible to truly deliver. It’s like the over processed, mega touched up photo images of models, wearing the dress that won’t look like that on me. It’s a sales pitch to the core of our emotional being. SO- what about letting our brains weigh in here, and see if it’s really possible. OR- is this another mountain top high campaign, a well written book, or charismatically delivered motivational talk? FYI- with most typical book or seminar information, only about 3% of the crowd will implement about 1% of the content delivered. (*this is why I prefer experiential education to passive education)

Healthy fear serves it’s purpose. I was dating a handsome guy in college, who was invited by a mutual friend to go on a motorcycle ride. The problem: Our friend was a crazy driver, with a crash record to prove it. They were both in shorts and tank tops on that very hot summer day. My boyfriend didn’t go, as my fears motivated a great sales pitch from me not to! The driver who had offered the ride, and his unlucky passenger, wrecked that day and survived, but with terrible road rash all over their unprotected bodies to pay for their “fun”. Fear can be the little voice inside your head of REASON that something unsafe or bad may happen, so don’t do it. Research shows most people who are about to become the victim of a crime have a “premonition” before the event that proved to come true. I say- listen to that when you hear it. Not all places, people or events are safe. Your intuition knows.

I think it can be valuable to make sure your fears are rational. Fears are like many things: they are only part of the equation. Sometimes a risk is necessary, like in starting a relationship, investment or business. Sometimes the pay-off outweighs all the potential risks and we, in spite of the fear… GO. This can be quite exhilarating! It’s a part of the natural process and it’s all good.

fish hook

I like to teach people to consider their fears, but only after they consider their dreams. Notice the costs involved. Do your research. Meditate and pray. But when it’s worth it, and all the factors have been considered, DO take healthy risks, in spite of your fears. In fact, when I do public speaking, I view my fear as sheer excitement! My heart rate goes up, I don’t know how it’s all going to play out, (every audience is SO totally different).  I move with my fear, using it to propel my passion out into the world. It is a blast to befriend your fear. And then, we can naturally, experientially learn to fear less in life. This IS very achievable. I like that.

discipline

“You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.” (when it is yours to do…)
~Eleanor Roosevelt

Many Blessings,
 Sheli  G
CILC | CMC | CEBC
www.shelig.com

Certified International Speaker, Group Transformationist, Comedian, Author 

www.shelig.com

Every Life Coach needs a Life Coach

Every Life Coach needs a Life Coach…

Google CEO, Eric Schmidt on Coaching

It’s true.
Those who do Professional Certified Life, Relationship or Business coaching should have their own personal paid-for coach. (at least 1)
Why? I’m glad you asked 🙂

life coaching UP
Benefits of hiring a Life Coach
*You’re Invested
Whether you hire a Life Coach, Business Coach, Sports Coach, Relationship coach etc. the moment you INVEST in yourself at that level, it raises the stakes. Now you have something very measurable to lose. In our culture, we don’t like to lose, we like to succeed. So investing in ourselves gives us some equity, or “skin in the game”. Now I’m not on the bench just chatting with people about my life theoretically, hoping it will spontaneously start going better. I have a clear intention of getting better results. I have made a decision to hire someone to help me facilitate that goal. And now I have money and more importantly TIME on the line. I deserve to make this worth my while. ~Most people don’t go to that level of commitment until they are serious about their goal.

WC vid 3 time2

*Proven Results
Tangible positive results are almost a guarantee when you hire a Life Coach.(almost)
The almost is the disclaimer, because you DO have to show up after you have made the decision, and paid. And after you show up, both to the appointments with your coach AND to the commitments/goals you set with your coach and yourself, you have to stay the course to make the whole deal work. ~It’s like a purse, what you put into it, you will get out of it. Go big = Get big. Pure and simple.
life coaching pic
*
New Tools
Masterminding with someone who is a professional masterminder- is truly profound. They not only know how to, they are gifted at “revelation communication”!  They are invested in you once you hire them- they know they need to make you more successful to keep their job! And the great ones are CALLED to it. Like a great teacher or author, you have to be passionate and LOVE coaching at your core. It needs to be the thing that when you can help a light go on for someone, it literally makes your soul SING. If that is the case for a coach, they will give you new enlightenment from that calling, deep inspiration to fuel your dreams, and incredible ideas and tools you didn’t have before to propel you towards your goal faster and with more measurable success. They can actually save you a lot of time, money and anxiety by helping you with your blueprint to success. Even if you’re an amazing Life or Business Coach, meet with another and they will have skills, perspectives and experiences you don’t have to pull from to make you greater. We never “arrive”. ~If we are willing, we do intentionally evolve, until our last breath.

Life's Journey
*Objectivity
Let’s face it- we are usually not that objective about ourselves. This can be a huge stumbling block. A professional coach has the duty to tell you what is working and not working from their perspective. They can speak into your life from a one step removed place that you simply cannot. They can say “Please don’t wear that tie, it sends a terrible message to your audience” And they don’t care that your wife gave it to you and asked you to wear it!  They can see boundary issues at work or home that are affecting your time, energy and emotional capacity. They can look at your website and tell you, “I am lost, where am I going on this web site?” Because it’s not their best friend that created the web site. Even if it’s you that created the web site, they are only invested in making you better, so they will be honest, even painfully so- to facilitate your positive growth. They will tell you, based on their experience and skills how to attract your target market, not just people like you. If you don’t have a target market yet, they will help you nail one down, again- from objectivity. If you are like me, you may have 100 amazing ideas. But having someone grill me, process me and fine tune what order those should be prioritized in is something they can do way faster than I can do for myself-period. ~Your Coach can stay focused, and not go running down bunny trails when they see something “shiny”.
life coaching one on one

*Accountability
Half the reason, or at least a huge part of the reason coaching works is ACCOUNTABILITY. 
It’s not that you don’t have a lot of the head knowledge that the coach does. Maybe you do. Knowing it and doing it consistently are very different things. A basketball player knows how to dribble. Shoot. Run plays. But you have to show up to practice DAILY to play in the big game. You come to practice sometimes….only because you have to! You would probably rather go to a movie some days, if you are normal. But they are counting on you, and YOU are counting on you to play in the big game. And deep down you know, even on your “off” days, practice makes you better, more consistent, and bonds you to your team. No matter how good you are, you need accountability to show up and push yourself to your max daily, weekly monthly and long-term. A good coach is a huge part of what pushes us to show up and play our best, every day. ~It’s harder to break your word of honor to a coach, and a team, than to just yourself.


life coaching accountability
I have seen far too many people in the human development industry, from counselors, to Psychologists, to Life Coaches etc. not do most of the things in their OWN lives that they preach and teach!  In fact, often times these folks rush into the intellectual book knowledge of how to help others before doing their own work on themselves. I find this to be dangerous. I don’t say this lightly, but a GOOD Life Coach has a HEAP of personal integrity! They don’t ask others to do what they are not doing or have not done themselves. They have integrity in being healthy and grounded in ALL areas of their life before they help someone clean up theirs. Now, that’s not to say they should be perfect. I certainly am not. But I have seen people who are in a shambles in their relationships, or their finances are a train-wreck, or they are terribly dishonest, and yet they rush into opportunities to tell others how to do all things well. If a Life Coach doesn’t consistently get their own help in the areas they are off-line, they are not who you want coaching you.  If they say they have it all together, all the time, they are not honest. ~Remember: A Coach can only coach you up to the level of knowledge, experience and intuition they have, and not above it.
life coach- NOT
Michael Jordan was already the best Offensive Basketball player in the NBA. That wasn’t enough for Mike. He hired a personal defense coach to help him be the best in defense also. He knew offense was his natural niche, but he wanted to cultivate more off the chart skills, and he didn’t just keep playing the same old game to do it. He hired a specialist, and that coach helped him to prioritize those new goals in alignment with what he had already succeeded in. MJ became known after that as one of the best ALL AROUND players that ever played the game. You don’t throw out what is working, you just work on new goals while you maintain what you have already achieved. ~The most successful people in any category have coaches/mentors of their own.
life coaching MJ

I have several paid coaches. A Speaking Coach, a Business Coach, and a Spiritual Coach. I have other mentors as well. I meet with them in person, online and by phone weekly, monthly etc. There are tangible measurable reasons hiring a LIFE COACH works. It takes you to your next “Level Up” I like to call it. ~It truly produces improved results in all the areas you focus on, and even in areas that just benefit from other areas getting into alignment.

life coaching find one

What do you want? What are you doing to truly cultivate what you say you want? It takes more than a good idea or rhetoric. Don’t die with the music still inside of you. Go after that dream. Don’t wait.

life coaching wayne quote

Many Blessings,
 
sheli  G
CILC | CMC | CEBC

www.shelig.com

Certified International Business, Leadership & Life Success Coach

www.shelig.com

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