motivational coach sheli G

Posts tagged ‘Sales’

You Can’t Buy Mastery

Twenty years ago, I watched phenomenal facilitators work with people in human development. I studied and listened in awe while they, as we say in Personal Development Land, “processed” their students. These facilitators or coaches would do focused work with the students, from the students point of tension, pain or confusion. The facilitator would guide them, as the student was willing, to the other side, or at least help them to take some real some steps forward. This experiential learning is profound in both business settings, or personal growth.

I was amazed.

It was incredible to see these coaches real-time, and watch as their intuitive hits rang spot on, nearly every time they spoke. What?? Yes.

In my naiveté I wondered… how do they know? How do they see what’s behind the mask of emotion, the story, the walls, or the rhetoric? How did they know that person was ready to finally breakthrough or scale? Now, I know.

masks

It’s a calling.

Sounds spiritual. And…I believe it is. When you step into your calling, purpose or cause, the greatest parts of you are unlocked and ignited. Your intuitive or spiritual self combines with your ability, education and effort. When you find the thing or things that you were created to do, if you’re aware, you know.

And then there’s the final key to mastery, time. You can’t quick-link to that level of mastery simply from text books, teachers and mentors. You can’t metabolize quotes, information or inspiration, such that you can just propel it forward into others, with spot on timing and nearly flawless delivery.

When someone who isn’t ready attempts a mastery level role, their students or employees won’t find as much value.

women entrepreneur

The gold, magic and pure power of experience,  collaborates to bring all your raw talent and passion together.  It’s hard to articulate if you’ve never experienced it yourself.

I studied hard. I was trained, mentored, and certified in personal development and business consulting. #serialentrepreneur I worked and I served for countless hours. Years of being a committed, consistent student, working from where I was, both failing and succeeding along the way… and yet reaching for mastery. Those are the touchstones of my capacity to deliver my work today. And I just adore what I do.

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The Big Mistake…
Is- skipping parts of this rights-of-passage process, because of impatience, poor mentoring, ego or entitlement. To be exceptional, your mastery levels must always be humbly, earned.

Don’t skip any part of the perfect process that these elements will bring to your practice, cause or calling. The old truth of 10,000 hours of experience, or something like that, truly is the golden key that brings your vision to fruition.

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The Secret
Humility reminds you to take the journey, with no shortcuts. Humility… when you know that there is so much yet to learn about, experience and understand. And when you reach a mastery level, you will know. But, you will still make mistakes. And you won’t think of the epic successes as yours, but they will belong to your clients, and those you mentor.

And as you continue, more humility greets you with the kiss of knowing, that we are all equally called to greatness. No one is ever bigger or smaller in the circle. It’s not about Race. Geography. Gender. Profession. Religion. The big difference is, only some say yes to the call.

Say Y E S

Career pic

Sheli G
Speaker | Team Igniter | Comedian | Author
sheligcoaching@gmail.com | http://www.SheliG.com

Goal Setting Isn’t Motivating

Hashtag Goal setting … blahhhh.  🙂

Tired Squirrel

I’ve been informally doing goals all my life, and more formally since I started athletics and working in sales…so very young. Part of me is “over it”, and part of me totally understands… sometimes it is required and/or really beneficial.

I find however, it is ONLY beneficial if you are *already truly internally motivated towards the things you will be cultivating on and from that list. Otherwise, it’s possibly rhetoric, and you are bound to under-achieve what you listed, or feel underwhelmed by your results.

I like to ponder my own assessment formula first:

  • what worked this past year, and why?
  • what didn’t work, and why?
  • what relationships supported me well, and I them?
  • what relationships need work, and how?
  • are there any relationships that need to be scaled back?
  • what makes my soul absolutely SING? (books, serving others, people, activities…)
  • am I growing positively as a person?
  • if so, how am I growing?
  • what area deserves the most growth/work this next year? (spiritual, financial, physical, etc)
  • what is my THEME for 2014? (Giving. Risk. Professionalism. Marketing. etc)

Those are pretty simple to answer. Answer them Honestly for real results.

SO…

remembered for

This is a great thing to ask your-real-self before goal setting.

We can all sit down and make lists if we need to. You can make them all day long.

make lists

But what is driving us? What is fueling us? What is in the way? These are good foundational questions, to make sure our goals are really where we want and NEED to go, and not where others think we should go (co-dependents, people pleasers??) or where we have assumed we should go…for some reason.

*What do you REALLY want, what is your soul calling you to do… and how do you need to operate in every aspect of your life to achieve that?

If you were choosing from passion and vision vs. fear and insecurity, what would you go after in 2014? Let us begin!
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Many Blessings,
sheli  G
CILC | CMC | CEBC

www.shelig.com
International Speaker
Master Certified Business Coach
World Changer Leadership & Life Mastery Coach
“It’s time to embrace the World Changer in YOU!” ~sheli G

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Contact me: Skype coach.sheli

3 HUGE Sales Myths

WORLD CHANGERS ENROLL

Do you realize we are all salespeople?

You sell people on ideas. Selling is ENROLLING. Enrolling someone into for example; Where to eat for dinner. Where to donate money. What product to buy. This is also influencing. We are all influencers. Call it what you want. But we do enroll others into what we are into and passionate about. SO, what are YOU excited about, passionate about, and committed to? I have been enrolling others since I was a child. Chances are, you have too. I have sold: Avon, Pizza, Mortgage loans, Mexican Food, Services, Football, Insurance, God, Consulting, and hope. In other words, I have enrolled or influenced others into these things, and more.

Sales myths

1) “The sale begins with ‘NO’.”

This out-dated saying is supposed to prove the point; that just because someone says NO, doesn’t necessarily mean that they mean NO, or perhaps that the NO could convert to a big juicy YES at some point. And that is true.

However, I learned early on that the influencing (or repelling) begins at the point of origination, that is: their FIRST impression of you and/or your company.

From the first interaction you have with anyone, you are enrolling them into something. Your positive or otherwise viewpoints. Your beliefs. Your ideas. The sale, (or lack thereof) begins at first contact. So get honest feedback. Understand how you come across when others first meet you. Tweak what you need to so that your message can translate. *Good intentions alone don’t enroll. 

2) “I develop strong relationships, and I’m very influential. Therefore- “the close” is automatic.”
Wrong. LOL. That would be very cool but…

Great relationships, whether you are good at schmoozing, and/or whether you are good at deep, profound relationships, means you have a lot of friends. Does that mean your enrollments or closings are high? Not necessarily.

You deserve to always “ASK FOR THE CLOSE”. Call To Action baby. I don’t care how tight you are with that person (which may be just your perception too), and even if they are really interested, YOUR JOB is to ask for the sale, ask them to sign up, and close the deal. Most of them are waiting for you to do it! Now- some enrollers are great up until this point, and then they fade out of fear, poor training, or lack of experience. Until you feel like you are as strong of a CLOSER as you are an influential person- invest in some training. There are books, online courses, sales coaching (~yes I love to coach individuals and teams on sales, so a shameless plug here- http://www.shelig.com)

You can also bring a “closer” type person from your team, company or organization. Have them seal the deal, and you learn from a master closer. Split the commission, and the credit if that applies. *People that steal all the credit when others were paramount in the deal, lose influence faster than they gain sales.

dominos

3) “If I do an awesome job, they should automatically send me referrals!”
Once again, nope.

Guess who knows more people just like the one you just enrolled… Whether it’s a single mom, a family, a CEO, an investor… yes- THEY do! Guess who are the best enrollers out there… SOMEONE WHO HAS RECENTLY BEEN ENROLLED INTO SOMETHING THEMSELVES. Stats show they will enroll the majority of people they will ever enroll, within 30 days of signing up for something themselves. Why? They just signed up! They are fired up! They get it! They will see all those people they usually connect with, within 30 days! And they want company! 🙂 But, most often they won’t think to do it, unless you ask.

When I owned a mortgage brokerage company years ago, My top loan officer was Jay. Jay had a professional form that he took to ALL of his loan closings, where he asked them to bring their “little Black book” (now it’s their smartphone) And he had them right there, on the spot after the closing, fill out 5 warm referrals for him. They did it almost every time, because he WAS an amazing loan officer, very influential, and because he asked for them. Stop waiting. *He who asks, receives.

Many Blessings,
www.shelig.com
sheli  G
CILC | CMC | CEBC

www.shelig.com
Speaker
Master Certified Business Coach
World Changer Leadership & Success Coach
“It’s time to Level UP, and harness the World Changer in YOU!” ~sheli G

Connect with me on:
https://embracereal.wordpress.com
http://www.facebook.com/sheliGinspires
http://www.youtube.com/user/coachsheliG
http://www.linkedin.com/in/shelig
https://twitter.com/sheliGinspires
http://pinterest.com/sheligcoaching

Turning Clients into Evangelists

I think one of the best questions I can ask myself, or YOU as an Entrepreneur or Leader is: “How can I turn clients into evangelists for my business”.

leadership

I spent many years doing what I see a lot of folks still doing today; going from “Hero to Zero”.

tired

It’s exciting. But Hero to Zero is also exhausting. H to Z is: every event, every client, you ARE doing a phenomenal job. And subconsciously at least you are praying that this will, for Karma’s sake, go ahead and replicate itself. It’s the nice idea that if you do an awesome job, then people will automatically refer you tons of business... and your reputation will catch like wild fire… and set the entire globe ablaze!  Bliss! After all, as Zig Ziglar says “If you help enough people get what they want, you will get what you want.” Which is similar to what my favorite book says: “Treat others as you wish to be treated”. YES. This does lay the core foundation, I believe, for success to truly manifest… at least honest, healthy success. And yet there is much more to the formula for entrepreneurs to get what they want and need to thrive in business or life long-term. So- lay the foundation, and then?

What do the masters say? Well this in itself is confusing, at least for me. It’s like overnight, EVERYONE became an expert of something.  (I suppose that includes me. *But it wasn’t overnight.) 🙂 Like “Social Media Experts” “SEO Experts” (there were experts in things before I ever knew what their initials meant!) “Law of Attraction Experts” and so on. Many of them say the same things, often. (which gets really boring) And then of course they will TOTALLY diverge just when you think you understand something, anything, and absolutely contradict one another… leaving you at square one. Oh goody- more EME. (entrepreneurial mental exhaustion)

THEN there are the trailblazers. The WORLD CHANGERS.

They are the ones who not only find their specific NICHE, develop way incredible products, but also leverage themselves so uniquely and/or dynamically in the marketplace. These mavericks often do this by rebelling against some of the very rules and the norm that we are “supposed” to follow. I like these guys and gals. In coaching clients on their Business or their Life, I don’t know of many people who want to be fenced in on every side. It makes us punchy. SO, let’s remember a couple of rule breakers who set themselves apart, and bucked the norm, to become industry giants. What specific lessons might we glean from their example?

The infamous, Steve Jobs.

We now remember him for his matchless (at least for now) innovations. But he was also known to be strong-willed, arrogant, and often overly sarcastic. Much of what Jobs did, runs completely counter to conventional beliefs about marketing. But based on results, maybe we need to be questioning more conventional beliefs. He didn’t befriend or BS the press. If anything- Jobs took on the press, and the people cheered. Instead of throwing himself shamelessly at every opportunity to answer questions about new or upcoming products, he avoided and darted them with enough of a hint of mischievous, that folks always assumed he was up to something ginormous. Fans were chomping at the bit to see him unveil. Even now, Apple-ites wait in crazy long lines to get a newly released Apple Product, as if were Oxygen. Just the joy of people and the press seeing that they are in the endless Apple line fuels their fanatical obsession. Momentum through mystery and come-and-get-me marketing. Brilliant. The lesson in Apple goes beyond the obvious slick products, and begs the question; How much of this success is also due to Job’s ornery and masterful enticement?

steve jobs4 steve jobs 3

Tesla CEO Elon Musk

Musk in 2008 took over the electric car company Tesla, that was on the brink of ruin. America loves a Cinderella story. Elon turned Tesla into one of the coolest trending cars and brands in the world. The Model S starts at $70,000 and can go over $100,000. At 41 years old, Elon grew up in South Africa, and made his other fortune as a co-founder of PayPal. He isn’t doing too bad. Again, he has taken on some of the arrogance, rebellious, obnoxious traits we apparently loved in Jobs. Of course- you can get away with being more annoying when you can back it up. Tesla’s fans not only include their owners, but those who cannot afford one, but who are ridiculously fanatical about the brand anyway. Negative reports or Tweets by a journalist about the sassy car or CEO are sure to get swarmed, and not lovingly, by these tireless fans who will go to great lengths to defend the brand. The negative advertisement usually comes back around for even more unwavering fan love back to Tesla. (and a bit more disdain for the press)

Saab 9-5 Estate at Amsterdam RAI Autoshow

Oprah

http://news.yahoo.com/video/oprah-winfrey-delivers-harvard-commencement-210933786.html

Anytime you can say just the first name of a person- and the whole freakin planet just knows….it’s big. Actually, you could probably just name this section the “O” section. Point made. And Oprah also bucked some “rules”. She was the first woman to be successful at Phil Donahue’s playground, the daily drama filled Talk Show. (I think you needed to be a drinker to truly appreciate those shows) Moreover, O impressed us all that she didn’t come from wealth, or a political family, or have a size o, White body, and model perfect looks. She was refreshingly normal, and the opposite of Hollywood… she had compassion. She is clearly brilliant- or at least crazy BRAVE. She turned the TV Talk Show genre on its head, when she took her show from trashy stories, into a personal development and empowerment hub. O modeled from the stage, her own position on how we should be: authentic, emotional and full of empathy towards others. She showed the world how following your gut instincts and staying true to your heart, desire and passion will lead you to greater results and victories than the norm. Even for those who disagree with her methods, beliefs, or how cult-like her fans responded to her….

I say take YOUR BELIEFS, and dare to be as brave, dedicated, and hard-working as Oprah. Jobs. Elon. YES! Dare to stare your worst, nasty critics and judges in the face who say you are going to fail. YES. Stay the course on those days when it seems like only darkness surrounds, and the light is a far off train. YES. Honor the calling you find on your life with unfiltered passion, unwavering determination, incomprehensible consistency, and daily tuning back into your core, to your “Why?”… Why do you do what you do? If your WHY is big enough, (and I do believe we were all given a HUGE, unique “why” by God) then you will one day realize as the train comes into closer view, it was just pure light at the end of the tunnel. Then perhaps our clients, but more importantly our friends and family, will be those zealous, tireless evangelists for us and all we are to be and do.

Many Blessings,
sheli  G
www.shelig.com
CILC | CMC | CEBC

www.shelig.com
Certified International Business, Leadership & Life Success Coach
“It’s time to Level UP, and harness the World Changer in YOU!” ~sheli G

Connect with me on:
https://embracereal.wordpress.com
http://www.facebook.com/sheliGinspires
http://www.linkedin.com/in/shelig
http://www.youtube.com/user/coachsheliG
http://pinterest.com/sheligcoaching
https://twitter.com/sheliGinspires

5 things my Dog taught me about Business

Dogs are amazing. They innately know some things that we as Leaders deserve to observe and implement about business, and people.

5) If you smell, it’s time for a bath.

Black pug in hoodie on a white background

Good hygiene and grooming are very important in business. No matter what business you are in, you need to avoid offending people with how you look or smell. Every business has a dress code or culture to follow with great variances. But whatever that code is, be the best in your field. For Leaders and Business Owners wanting to gain clients, there are some keys to your best look:

~ Keep Hair clean, cut and up to date on style. (if you don’t know, go to a salon that knows and get them to help you or at least affirm or debate what you think is a good style/cut)

~ Clothes should ALWAYS, in all ways, be clean, pressed, and be the right SIZE. (when you gain or lose weight, get the new size. Tight on cash? Go thrifting or Ebaying for great deals)

~ Shoes always need to be polished, by you or someone. (unpolished shoes send all kinds of negative messages to your boss, clients etc)

~ Shower daily. Yep.

~ Teeth & breath need to be clean. (if you smoke and or drink coffee, brush after or use a mint or mouthwash please)

4) If you bark loudly and/or often, you will struggle with people- often.

As an extroverted person myself, I learned this important lesson: There is a difference between your inside voice and your outside voice. (If you don’t know what I mean, get a coach or mentor to explain)    🙂

3) Forgiveness is King.

dog kid

Forgiveness allows the relationship to reset endlessly, love unconditionally, and your tail to wag frequently.

We all make mistakes. It’s called being human. Let 99% roll off, and work out the rest. Save your energy for your work goals… avoid the drama!

2) Train them up in the way they should go.

Dogs act exactly how their owner trains them to. So do people. Be accountable as a Manager, Leader or Business Owner. Train them correctly, support them adequately, and they will succeed. If they don’t, they need more training and support, perhaps more than just by you. Bring in a neutral, objective Business and Life Coach. (*Hint- if your whole team is not acting as you would like them to, it’s not the individuals, it’s the system, the leadership, or both.)

1) The best dogs are irreplaceable.

dog backpack

And so are great people. They are not expendable.

~ Get really good people in the RIGHT job for them. *No one succeeds long-term in the wrong position. (which means YOU need to find, screen and place or transfer them well)

~ Train and support them exceptionally well in business, and their life. (they are not neatly separated with walls as we would like to think)

~ And above all, encourage and affirm their strengths.We get a lot of negative. We need to know what IS working about what we are doing, which propels us to do that more.

Employees, partners or associates will be very loyal to you, as you create and maintain a healthy, positive business culture for them to thrive in.

Many Blessings,
 
sheli  G
CILC | CMC | CEBC

www.shelig.com

Certified International Business, Leadership & Life Success Coach

www.shelig.com

The Explosive power of the Collective

happy meeting

Mastermind Groups.

We have all heard of them. IF you have not been in a GREAT one, you are missing an incredible  amount of opportunity to expand yourself, your business, and your INCOME- in record time.

What is a Mastermind? (just a room full of superegos?)

I am glad you asked. A GOOD mastermind is not about stroking egos. (unless that is the intention of the group)

A Mastermind by definition is: a person who grows, makes or invents things, someone who has exceptional intellectual ability and originality, a person who plans and directs skillfully. In a Mastermind group or team, you simply add the collective to this, *which significantly amplifies the results. (YES!)

Collaboration is: to work jointly with others especially in an intellectual endeavor. Collaboration is the key to unlocking objective, exponential ideas, unlimited resources, power connections and critical information.

The Gathering Choose in

What’s the best Mastermind Team for me?

You deserve to be a part of a Mastermind team that has something in common with you and where you are going, or what your highest intention is. Are you just wanting a free, casual, non-accountable group? Or a higher level one where the members expect real, tangible growth? There is no right or wrong here, but there is a big difference.

There are different kinds of groups which can be brilliantly collaborative, like: Entrepreneurs, Sales, Marketing, Start Ups, Christian Business Owners, Women’s groups and Men’s groups. Sometimes the varying backgrounds can be a massive opportunity to support one another and get support, since we all know our strengths and challenges, and develop a well oiled reciprocating system that pays huge dividends.

The Leader of the Mastermind

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Listen- your Mastermind will be as good as it’s leader. Period.

The Best Mastermind groups are run by leaders who have 1) Achieved measurable, obvious success in the area they are facilitating! 2) Have a proven system in place from start to finish that efficiently guides all the brainpower in the room (otherwise it’s chaos)  3) A never-ending desire to grow themselves and 4) A desire to genuinely help their students with compassion and truth in their journey.

Objectivity

circle of people

The good news is: Mastermind groups that are working WELL are objective, and sometimes even brutally honest. The truth is, you may not always like what you hear. You may hear things like: “Your website sucks- and Aunt Margaret should NOT have created it for you.” You may hear that your power point presentation puts people to sleep. You may hear that your attire or professional appearance needs an update (asap). You may hear that you need to spend more money to make more money. In fact, the high level Mastermind groups cost significant money. AND- they are worth it.

The good news is: you DESERVE to hear the objective feedback, both nice and not, to expand and grow yourself and your income rapidly, which is why most of us are in a Mastermind group.

The other good news is: you will receive a tremendous amount of affirmation about your strengths, gifts and abilities, perhaps even in areas you did not have on your radar before!

Got Results?

It’s like a Purse (or a Murse if you are a man), YOU GET OUT OF IT WHAT YOU you YOU PUT INTO IT. Period. There is no magic pill or cliffs-notes here. If you cheat- you cheat yourself, as well as the group. So doing the risk-taking goal setting, the homework, the calls, the meetings, and spending the time, money, energy… and risking questioning everything you are currently doing- ready to let go of what you need to… all of that makes this game really work.  So it ain’t for the weary, the victims, the overly prideful or the frauds.

The Bottom Line.

IF you do all the work, and truly play to win on every level, you will be absolutely thrilled with what you get out of it. And, MORE importantly in the big picture, you will love the giving. What can you offer and give to others? You have unique skills, strengths, gifts, and experiences. In the end, we feel the best when we give to and serve others. This is still a key to why most people who we deem “successful” got where they are. It’s not all about you.

Email me if you are interested in a mastermind, we will find you a compatible one, Let’s SCALE!

Helping Hand

Many Blessings,
sheli  G
L81C8894-Edit[1]
CILC | CMC | CEBC
www.shelig.com
CEO Women Ignite Idaho Conference and Trade Show
WomenIgniteIdaho.com
FB wii 6 5
International Speaker
Master Certified Business Coach
World Changer Leadership & Life Mastery Coach
“It’s time to ignite the World Changer in YOU!” ~sheli G

Facebook LinkedIn WordPress YouTube pinterest
Contact me: Skype coach.sheli

 

5 Business items NOT TO SCRIMP ON

Cheapskate. Coupon clipper. Mega-Deal shopper.

These can be fabulous traits, as Dave Ramsey would usually agree. We have long overspent, over-purchased, and hard times have taught us to be intentional and careful with our bucks!

I am a sucker for a sale. But, when you are in business, some things you shouldn’t scrimp on. If you do, it can hurt your bottom line, defeating the purpose of “saving money” !

Here are a few…

#5 Your Company Logo

apple_logo_think_different

Think different, and think smart phone aps too. It’s not just about what looks good on a glossy piece of paper anymore. Is it INTERNET – social media – and click friendly? Will it be cool 10 years from now, or 40. It needs to have unique artistic quality, timeless energy, global capability.  Or you’ll be re-branding every few years. (now that’s expensive.)

#4 Your Company Party

company party

If you’re gonna throw a trashy party, skip it. A party is only as classy as it’s (host), food, atmosphere, and if applicable, the band. If you make it a potluck, have it at a Motel 6 carpet look-a-like room, and bring the receptionists 14 year old with a Wal-Mart clearance Karaoke machine, that is the quality of the party. Forget it, or GO BIG and FAT and posh. Especially if you do one a year for your employees, go all out. They deserve it. (if they don’t, support them better, with trainings, compliments, parties, and increase your fun AND profits 🙂 )

#3 Your Smartphone

smartphone

I admit it, my husband was right. (thanks honey) I had to level up my CrackBerry for a real business making phone. It’s worth every penny, as I’ve increased my revenue since I bought it. We can do a ridiculous amount on these handheld computers. It’s worth it.

#2 Your Promo Materials

I cringe when I see a photo copy of a copy of a photo copy of a blurry, crooked form of any kind  from a business. Be professional. Get it done right. If your printer sucks, get it printed on good paper at a copy place. If that’s too expensive, invest in a great copier/printer. It makes a huge difference. You’re not saving money with bad prints, you’re losing business.

#1 Your Business Cards

sheli G cards 1

Although much of our business promo stuff is online today, nothing beats meeting someone face to face,  and giving them a sleek, sexy, PREMIUM business card. For clients, affiliates, referral sources…it makes a huge impression. Notice the feeling you have when you get a hot one,  vs. a boring, old, 1980’s corporate card? Too much White or off White, too much text, too much not-needed info….and no WOW! Give them an incredible experience when they see that card. It speaks to who you are, and how vibrant your business is, or isn’t.

“After all, it’s not a race to the bottom…..” ~ Seth Godin

Many Blessings,
 
sheli  G
CILC | CMC | CEBC

www.shelig.com

Certified International Business, Leadership & Life Success Coach

Do I “Unhook” from Negative Nellies??

anrgy birds

In Personal/Spiritual Development Land, I hear this a lot:

“Cut negative people out of your life. You don’t need them. You cannot go where you deserve to with them in your life”

It’s a classic “Empowerment Challenge”. But it has never fully resonated with me. What about you?

Here are a few thoughts on why cutting everyone in a “negative space” out of your life may not always be best.

  • THE negative one may be a family member.
  • You may work with them, or they may be your boss!
  • They are going through a temporary rough patch.
  • When YOU are the Negative Nellie or Nelson.
  • How can we “Be the change we wish to see in the World”… if we only connect with the easy, fun, already happy ones?
  • It may be our own perception or projection, that is judging or viewing them as a negative influence.

When they are a family member.

By all means you can draw healthy boundaries. (book by Dr Cloud & Dr. Townsend)

boundaries book pic

I am not saying roll over, or take abuse of any kind from anyone. I AM saying think about it. If you pray or meditate, do that. I did have to draw a boundary with a family member. She had been through a super hard time. But it came to a place of toxicity in her words mostly, that I had to draw a boundary and not have her around or communicate with her at all. The good news is, I made it clear that this was her choice, that if she went back to honoring our family with respect and kindness, that our relationship would be restored, and it was. Every case is different! If you are abused etc, you need professional help to navigate those choices. ( Google it ) But this is more for every day dealings, when family members are on a lesser scale of challenging or destructive. ~Calm down, get advice from a healthy person, and think about it before you take action. (* A Life Coach or Counselor is skilled in this area)

When you work with him or her. 

You have a lot at stake in this case. If you treat them in ways the company or managers don’t approve of, you may lose your job. People around you get very uncomfortable with conflict. One scenario I know was so bad, that even though BOTH sales people were top producers in the WEST, the company felt they had to choose 1 and move on, to re-build more positive energy in the workplace. Also if it’s your boss, watch out. Their ego alone, and/or their position of having more of a voice in everything than you, makes it nearly impossible to be their breakthrough buddy on “their issues”. Again, this is assuming you are right, and sometimes you may not be. SO- is it worth risking your job? If you are open to this: think about it before spouting off.  (and never spout in an email, it’s cowardly) I used to liken myself when I am really passionate to Joan of Arc, until a wise mentor reminded me that Joan was burned at the stake, at a young age. Sometimes it’s not our battle to fight. And guess what?! ~Often times there are similar people at the next job too.

Sometimes the tough space they are in is temporary.

Very often this is true. Are you going to bail the minute they are struggling? Overall- has the connection been healthy? Is this time temporary? Is there a greater window of grace they deserve from you? For most of us, tough times cycle through. ~They don’t last forever.

Remember, YOU may at some point be the “Negative Nellie” or “Nelson”.

I’ve been there. I think we all have. I am thankful for friends, family and mentors that saw me through. It’s also good to remember when we are going through Hell, keep on going until you are through. ~Don’t be abusive (verbally, physically, emotionally….) to anyone, in any way while you are in the funk.

Where does “Be the Difference..” come into play?

If you think of yourself as a spiritual or good person, then dig deep into the work of relationships. Some are easy, and some are super hard! That is the deal. If you are a leader, teacher, coach, counselor or general do-gooder…then go the extra mile. Breakthrough your own triggers, associations and shortfalls in the process. Expand. Again, I’m not advocating staying in abuse. ~I am saying that if we want to be the light in the dark, we must confront the dark and bring the light to dispel the dark. If not you, then who? If not today, then when?

MLK love can do that

Projection, Perception and the Shadow of self.

OK I know, that is a lot of psychological words right there…but Google it 🙂 What we are struggling with in ourselves, is often what drives us crazy about others. For example: Right now, on a scale of 1-10, 1 being not very much, to 10 being totally- 100%… RATE how much do YOU trust OTHERS… ( close your eyes & just do it! )  🙂

Usually, how high you rate others, is actually how you rate YOURSELF as trustworthy. This is just 1 example. Also, the Shadow side of our psychology might suggest that what repels us from others, is something we lack, or that we need to work on in ourselves. The “Workaholic” looks down on the guy that gets enough work done in 4 days, and then goes to the beach to surf non-stop for 3 days. One possible reason is envy, which is actually just his internal signal that the Workaholic deserves joy, play and a more balanced life too, but is struggling to get there.

I suggest, as long as you’re safe, that we learn to love, work with, tolerate and mentor each other. We learn more from the challenging relationships and struggles in life than we would by ourselves, “happy” on an island. ~Let us do the work, and learn how to reach and teach everyone who is willing.

Many Blessings,
sheli  G
CILC | CMC | CEBC

www.shelig.com
International Speaker
Master Certified Business Coach
World Changer Leadership & Life Mastery Coach
“It’s time to unleash the World Changer in YOU!” ~sheli G


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www.shelig.com

“Fearless” is a buzz word

sheli g vid 7

There are many, in my humble opinion, overused words today designed like keywords, or saturated sales pitches in their very intention.

Context is King (or Queen) so I don’t want to dis anyone’s book, song, or quote. BUT, for my business, I don’t coach or consult clients or groups I speak to, to try to attain or maintain a “FEARLESS life”.

  • I think being “fearless” all or most of the time is difficult, and perhaps impossible to attain as a long term sustainable model.
  • Being “fearless” sounds good, so it sells. But can you really buy it?
  • Fear has a purpose at times, and therefore is valuable.

To many people, living a “fearless life” sounds hip. But who can say they get to a place where they never have a fear again? If my 7 year old runs into the busy street, (which he has done a few times!) it totally sends shock waves of fear throughout my body. I think every parent would agree. So- is being fearless even something I want to try to attain? Plus, the research shows: putting goals in front of people that are impossible to achieve is the most UN-motivating thing you can do. Maybe it’s not a good personal development tool, after all.

Fear5

It is true, too many people live in too much fear, too much of the time. But again, I ask if it is a campaign with any integrity; to sell something because you know it sounds fabulous to the masses- but it is perhaps impossible to truly deliver. It’s like the over processed, mega touched up photo images of models, wearing the dress that won’t look like that on me. It’s a sales pitch to the core of our emotional being. SO- what about letting our brains weigh in here, and see if it’s really possible. OR- is this another mountain top high campaign, a well written book, or charismatically delivered motivational talk? FYI- with most typical book or seminar information, only about 3% of the crowd will implement about 1% of the content delivered. (*this is why I prefer experiential education to passive education)

Healthy fear serves it’s purpose. I was dating a handsome guy in college, who was invited by a mutual friend to go on a motorcycle ride. The problem: Our friend was a crazy driver, with a crash record to prove it. They were both in shorts and tank tops on that very hot summer day. My boyfriend didn’t go, as my fears motivated a great sales pitch from me not to! The driver who had offered the ride, and his unlucky passenger, wrecked that day and survived, but with terrible road rash all over their unprotected bodies to pay for their “fun”. Fear can be the little voice inside your head of REASON that something unsafe or bad may happen, so don’t do it. Research shows most people who are about to become the victim of a crime have a “premonition” before the event that proved to come true. I say- listen to that when you hear it. Not all places, people or events are safe. Your intuition knows.

I think it can be valuable to make sure your fears are rational. Fears are like many things: they are only part of the equation. Sometimes a risk is necessary, like in starting a relationship, investment or business. Sometimes the pay-off outweighs all the potential risks and we, in spite of the fear… GO. This can be quite exhilarating! It’s a part of the natural process and it’s all good.

fish hook

I like to teach people to consider their fears, but only after they consider their dreams. Notice the costs involved. Do your research. Meditate and pray. But when it’s worth it, and all the factors have been considered, DO take healthy risks, in spite of your fears. In fact, when I do public speaking, I view my fear as sheer excitement! My heart rate goes up, I don’t know how it’s all going to play out, (every audience is SO totally different).  I move with my fear, using it to propel my passion out into the world. It is a blast to befriend your fear. And then, we can naturally, experientially learn to fear less in life. This IS very achievable. I like that.

discipline

“You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.” (when it is yours to do…)
~Eleanor Roosevelt

Many Blessings,
 Sheli  G
CILC | CMC | CEBC
www.shelig.com

Certified International Speaker, Group Transformationist, Comedian, Author 

www.shelig.com

Every Life Coach needs a Life Coach

Every Life Coach needs a Life Coach…

Google CEO, Eric Schmidt on Coaching

It’s true.
Those who do Professional Certified Life, Relationship or Business coaching should have their own personal paid-for coach. (at least 1)
Why? I’m glad you asked 🙂

life coaching UP
Benefits of hiring a Life Coach
*You’re Invested
Whether you hire a Life Coach, Business Coach, Sports Coach, Relationship coach etc. the moment you INVEST in yourself at that level, it raises the stakes. Now you have something very measurable to lose. In our culture, we don’t like to lose, we like to succeed. So investing in ourselves gives us some equity, or “skin in the game”. Now I’m not on the bench just chatting with people about my life theoretically, hoping it will spontaneously start going better. I have a clear intention of getting better results. I have made a decision to hire someone to help me facilitate that goal. And now I have money and more importantly TIME on the line. I deserve to make this worth my while. ~Most people don’t go to that level of commitment until they are serious about their goal.

WC vid 3 time2

*Proven Results
Tangible positive results are almost a guarantee when you hire a Life Coach.(almost)
The almost is the disclaimer, because you DO have to show up after you have made the decision, and paid. And after you show up, both to the appointments with your coach AND to the commitments/goals you set with your coach and yourself, you have to stay the course to make the whole deal work. ~It’s like a purse, what you put into it, you will get out of it. Go big = Get big. Pure and simple.
life coaching pic
*
New Tools
Masterminding with someone who is a professional masterminder- is truly profound. They not only know how to, they are gifted at “revelation communication”!  They are invested in you once you hire them- they know they need to make you more successful to keep their job! And the great ones are CALLED to it. Like a great teacher or author, you have to be passionate and LOVE coaching at your core. It needs to be the thing that when you can help a light go on for someone, it literally makes your soul SING. If that is the case for a coach, they will give you new enlightenment from that calling, deep inspiration to fuel your dreams, and incredible ideas and tools you didn’t have before to propel you towards your goal faster and with more measurable success. They can actually save you a lot of time, money and anxiety by helping you with your blueprint to success. Even if you’re an amazing Life or Business Coach, meet with another and they will have skills, perspectives and experiences you don’t have to pull from to make you greater. We never “arrive”. ~If we are willing, we do intentionally evolve, until our last breath.

Life's Journey
*Objectivity
Let’s face it- we are usually not that objective about ourselves. This can be a huge stumbling block. A professional coach has the duty to tell you what is working and not working from their perspective. They can speak into your life from a one step removed place that you simply cannot. They can say “Please don’t wear that tie, it sends a terrible message to your audience” And they don’t care that your wife gave it to you and asked you to wear it!  They can see boundary issues at work or home that are affecting your time, energy and emotional capacity. They can look at your website and tell you, “I am lost, where am I going on this web site?” Because it’s not their best friend that created the web site. Even if it’s you that created the web site, they are only invested in making you better, so they will be honest, even painfully so- to facilitate your positive growth. They will tell you, based on their experience and skills how to attract your target market, not just people like you. If you don’t have a target market yet, they will help you nail one down, again- from objectivity. If you are like me, you may have 100 amazing ideas. But having someone grill me, process me and fine tune what order those should be prioritized in is something they can do way faster than I can do for myself-period. ~Your Coach can stay focused, and not go running down bunny trails when they see something “shiny”.
life coaching one on one

*Accountability
Half the reason, or at least a huge part of the reason coaching works is ACCOUNTABILITY. 
It’s not that you don’t have a lot of the head knowledge that the coach does. Maybe you do. Knowing it and doing it consistently are very different things. A basketball player knows how to dribble. Shoot. Run plays. But you have to show up to practice DAILY to play in the big game. You come to practice sometimes….only because you have to! You would probably rather go to a movie some days, if you are normal. But they are counting on you, and YOU are counting on you to play in the big game. And deep down you know, even on your “off” days, practice makes you better, more consistent, and bonds you to your team. No matter how good you are, you need accountability to show up and push yourself to your max daily, weekly monthly and long-term. A good coach is a huge part of what pushes us to show up and play our best, every day. ~It’s harder to break your word of honor to a coach, and a team, than to just yourself.


life coaching accountability
I have seen far too many people in the human development industry, from counselors, to Psychologists, to Life Coaches etc. not do most of the things in their OWN lives that they preach and teach!  In fact, often times these folks rush into the intellectual book knowledge of how to help others before doing their own work on themselves. I find this to be dangerous. I don’t say this lightly, but a GOOD Life Coach has a HEAP of personal integrity! They don’t ask others to do what they are not doing or have not done themselves. They have integrity in being healthy and grounded in ALL areas of their life before they help someone clean up theirs. Now, that’s not to say they should be perfect. I certainly am not. But I have seen people who are in a shambles in their relationships, or their finances are a train-wreck, or they are terribly dishonest, and yet they rush into opportunities to tell others how to do all things well. If a Life Coach doesn’t consistently get their own help in the areas they are off-line, they are not who you want coaching you.  If they say they have it all together, all the time, they are not honest. ~Remember: A Coach can only coach you up to the level of knowledge, experience and intuition they have, and not above it.
life coach- NOT
Michael Jordan was already the best Offensive Basketball player in the NBA. That wasn’t enough for Mike. He hired a personal defense coach to help him be the best in defense also. He knew offense was his natural niche, but he wanted to cultivate more off the chart skills, and he didn’t just keep playing the same old game to do it. He hired a specialist, and that coach helped him to prioritize those new goals in alignment with what he had already succeeded in. MJ became known after that as one of the best ALL AROUND players that ever played the game. You don’t throw out what is working, you just work on new goals while you maintain what you have already achieved. ~The most successful people in any category have coaches/mentors of their own.
life coaching MJ

I have several paid coaches. A Speaking Coach, a Business Coach, and a Spiritual Coach. I have other mentors as well. I meet with them in person, online and by phone weekly, monthly etc. There are tangible measurable reasons hiring a LIFE COACH works. It takes you to your next “Level Up” I like to call it. ~It truly produces improved results in all the areas you focus on, and even in areas that just benefit from other areas getting into alignment.

life coaching find one

What do you want? What are you doing to truly cultivate what you say you want? It takes more than a good idea or rhetoric. Don’t die with the music still inside of you. Go after that dream. Don’t wait.

life coaching wayne quote

Many Blessings,
 
sheli  G
CILC | CMC | CEBC

www.shelig.com

Certified International Business, Leadership & Life Success Coach

www.shelig.com

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