There are many, in my humble opinion, overused words today designed like keywords, or saturated sales pitches in their very intention.
Context is King (or Queen) so I don’t want to dis anyone’s book, song, or quote. BUT, for my business, I don’t coach or consult clients or groups I speak to, to try to attain or maintain a “FEARLESS life”.
- I think being “fearless” all or most of the time is difficult, and perhaps impossible to attain as a long term sustainable model.
- Being “fearless” sounds good, so it sells. But can you really buy it?
- Fear has a purpose at times, and therefore is valuable.
To many people, living a “fearless life” sounds hip. But who can say they get to a place where they never have a fear again? If my 7 year old runs into the busy street, (which he has done a few times!) it totally sends shock waves of fear throughout my body. I think every parent would agree. So- is being fearless even something I want to try to attain? Plus, the research shows: putting goals in front of people that are impossible to achieve is the most UN-motivating thing you can do. Maybe it’s not a good personal development tool, after all.
It is true, too many people live in too much fear, too much of the time. But again, I ask if it is a campaign with any integrity; to sell something because you know it sounds fabulous to the masses- but it is perhaps impossible to truly deliver. It’s like the over processed, mega touched up photo images of models, wearing the dress that won’t look like that on me. It’s a sales pitch to the core of our emotional being. SO- what about letting our brains weigh in here, and see if it’s really possible. OR- is this another mountain top high campaign, a well written book, or charismatically delivered motivational talk? FYI- with most typical book or seminar information, only about 3% of the crowd will implement about 1% of the content delivered. (*this is why I prefer experiential education to passive education)
Healthy fear serves it’s purpose. I was dating a handsome guy in college, who was invited by a mutual friend to go on a motorcycle ride. The problem: Our friend was a crazy driver, with a crash record to prove it. They were both in shorts and tank tops on that very hot summer day. My boyfriend didn’t go, as my fears motivated a great sales pitch from me not to! The driver who had offered the ride, and his unlucky passenger, wrecked that day and survived, but with terrible road rash all over their unprotected bodies to pay for their “fun”. Fear can be the little voice inside your head of REASON that something unsafe or bad may happen, so don’t do it. Research shows most people who are about to become the victim of a crime have a “premonition” before the event that proved to come true. I say- listen to that when you hear it. Not all places, people or events are safe. Your intuition knows.
I think it can be valuable to make sure your fears are rational. Fears are like many things: they are only part of the equation. Sometimes a risk is necessary, like in starting a relationship, investment or business. Sometimes the pay-off outweighs all the potential risks and we, in spite of the fear… GO. This can be quite exhilarating! It’s a part of the natural process and it’s all good.
I like to teach people to consider their fears, but only after they consider their dreams. Notice the costs involved. Do your research. Meditate and pray. But when it’s worth it, and all the factors have been considered, DO take healthy risks, in spite of your fears. In fact, when I do public speaking, I view my fear as sheer excitement! My heart rate goes up, I don’t know how it’s all going to play out, (every audience is SO totally different). I move with my fear, using it to propel my passion out into the world. It is a blast to befriend your fear. And then, we can naturally, experientially learn to fear less in life. This IS very achievable. I like that.
“You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.” (when it is yours to do…)
Certified International Speaker, Group Transformationist, Comedian, Author