motivational coach sheli G

Hashtag Goal setting … blahhhh.  🙂

Tired Squirrel

I’ve been informally doing goals all my life, and more formally since I started athletics and working in sales…so very young. Part of me is “over it”, and part of me totally understands… sometimes it is required and/or really beneficial.

I find however, it is ONLY beneficial if you are *already truly internally motivated towards the things you will be cultivating on and from that list. Otherwise, it’s possibly rhetoric, and you are bound to under-achieve what you listed, or feel underwhelmed by your results.

I like to ponder my own assessment formula first:

  • what worked this past year, and why?
  • what didn’t work, and why?
  • what relationships supported me well, and I them?
  • what relationships need work, and how?
  • are there any relationships that need to be scaled back?
  • what makes my soul absolutely SING? (books, serving others, people, activities…)
  • am I growing positively as a person?
  • if so, how am I growing?
  • what area deserves the most growth/work this next year? (spiritual, financial, physical, etc)
  • what is my THEME for 2014? (Giving. Risk. Professionalism. Marketing. etc)

Those are pretty simple to answer. Answer them Honestly for real results.

SO…

remembered for

This is a great thing to ask your-real-self before goal setting.

We can all sit down and make lists if we need to. You can make them all day long.

make lists

But what is driving us? What is fueling us? What is in the way? These are good foundational questions, to make sure our goals are really where we want and NEED to go, and not where others think we should go (co-dependents, people pleasers??) or where we have assumed we should go…for some reason.

*What do you REALLY want, what is your soul calling you to do… and how do you need to operate in every aspect of your life to achieve that?

If you were choosing from passion and vision vs. fear and insecurity, what would you go after in 2014? Let us begin!
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Many Blessings,
sheli  G
CILC | CMC | CEBC

www.shelig.com
International Speaker
Master Certified Business Coach
World Changer Leadership & Life Mastery Coach
“It’s time to embrace the World Changer in YOU!” ~sheli G

Facebook LinkedIn WordPress YouTube pinterest
Contact me: Skype coach.sheli

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Leaders. Influencers. Speakers. Authors. It’s time. It’s PAST time. Time to GET REAL.

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If you are already real, then cool beans. BUT, If not….

Quit acting like you have no insecurities.

Quit acting like you don’t make mistakes.

Quit acting better than.

Quit being in denial about your own issues, because you’re so good at exposing others weak spots. I know, because we all have them. I have them, big-time. You do too.

Don’t get me wrong. There are some really, really good leaders. GREAT leaders. WORLD CHANGING Leaders! YES! Just- not nearly enough.

Church.

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The American Church. Many nice buildings, where people dress up nice. They put on nice faces. AND- they shove down their hurts, habits, hangups, dark secrets and sins…and act all “Sunday School”. Not because they want to, actually. But because that is what they have been trained to do. It’s is what they know how to do in typical church culture. They mean well! They just don’t know how to show up any differently. And, would it be really OK if they did? If they came in smoking. If they admitted to the addiction. If they said their marriage was hanging on by a thread. If they admitted to being attracted to the same sex. If they told you they were bankrupt. If they said they had been abused by a church member….. Well, um…what then? Are we actually ready for that? We should be. They need love, a SAFE place to meet God and do their work, resources, support and answers. I need that. You do too. Bring on the Naked Church.

The perfect church service,would be one we were almost unaware of.
Our attention would have been on God.
 C.S. Lewis

Government.

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I know. I actually dread saying it. I cannot believe I am bringing it up. I usually avoid it. It brings up more triggers for people today than religion. For real. It divides us. Even though we all feel we know the right way… The “truth”. Then- why is everything so screwed up? We accuse the Millennials of not trusting or respecting authority. Should they?

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We are the voters. All this blame stuff hasn’t worked. To change, to get better, we have to ALL take responsibility. To be accountable- for ourselves, our history, our current state, and mostly for our future. Honestly, can you or I trust what ANY president says? 100%? Regardless of the party affiliation. Would you stake your life on any president being set up in the system we currently have, to tell the TOTAL truth, transparently, without political or personal repercussion or retribution? I need that honesty and transparency in order to trust. You do too. Bring on the Naked Government.

“In my country we go to prison first and then become President.”~Nelson Mandela

“Unlike some politicians, I can admit to a mistake.”~Nelson Mandela

CEO’s.

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Many leaders, both men and women, are still driven from EGO the majority of the time. A great education, great experience, a good cause, a great mind…they are not enough today. A true World Changing leader also develops oneself internally; with expansive personal development, spiritual awareness and authentic global concern. Leaders are not just modeling how to do business as usual; they should be modeling how to live a well balanced, truly healthy life in all aspects.

Women currently hold only 4.2 percent of Fortune 500 CEO roles, and 4.2 percent of Fortune 1000 CEO roles. Dr. Jack Zenger argues that this is due primarily to a change in leadership styles. Moving from a command-and-control style of leadership to a more collaborative model plays, he argues, to women’s strengths. Women are better listeners, better at building relationships and more collaborative and that, he argues, makes them better adapted to the demands of modern leadership. Asked to explain, therefore, why women haven’t fared better in the corporate hierarchy, he’s at somewhat of a loss. Thirty six percent of men say they want to be CEO, where only 18 percent of women say they do. Women have two jobs — the notorious second shift at home — while men, well, don’t do quite so much. And Zenger thinks also that boards simply lack confidence in women. Few have ever seen a female CEO and don’t recognize that, Dr. Zenger says.

this is who I am

I believe our men can also be supported to bring in more of the relational, collaborative style to their leadership. I think they are hungry for it too. It’s not our dad’s corporate culture anymore. Relationships matter.

There are also too many companies with a culture of cut-throat competition. Collaboration IS inspiration! Don’t we know? Pride on steroids and fierce vs. playful competition drowns the human creative and productive spirit. It also drops your ROI long term.

Some companies have laid so many people off, that they have great people left…doing the job of 3-4 people. I spoke to a friend who manages a team at HP. She said everyone on her team was on some sort of antidepressant. This is the net result, I believe, of asking great people to cram 3 work days into 1.  It’s a short term model. It’s unhealthy. A burn out plan. A profit killer.

When will we all get on the train of connectedness, allowing people to find their strengths, and give them the tools to help them identify and cultivate those? Then- allow them to operate and SOAR in those supernatural strengths. That’s what a real leader does- they show others how to harness the World-Changing Leader in themselves. Everyone has sheer brilliance in something. Everyone has passion. People are AMAZING!!!!   We all just need to be unlocked. I do. and you do too. Bring on the Naked Leadership.

This is the sassiest blog I have ever written. I would apologize… as I truly don’t mean to offend or hurt anyone. But, it’s really “up” for me. I know because my heart rate is up while I write this! It’s real. I feel it needs to be said. I don’t even know all the reasons why. But there it is. Bring on the Naked Blogging.

world changer

Many Blessings,
sheli  G
CILC | CMC | CEBC

www.shelig.com
International Speaker
Master Certified Business Coach
World Changer Leadership & Life Mastery Coach
“It’s time to unleash the World Changer in YOU!” ~sheli G

Facebook LinkedIn WordPress YouTube pinterest
Contact me: Skype coach.sheli

eagle 1

The bald eagle (Haliaeetus leucocephalus), the US national bird, is the only eagle unique to North America.
Eagles are large, powerfully built birds of prey

Let’s look at some very interesting comparisons between the World Changing Leader and the Eagle. Some may surprise you…

10) Eagles sit at the top of the food chain. This makes them more vulnerable to toxic chemicals in the environment, since each link in the food chain tends to concentrate chemicals from the lower link.

As a leader, there are many dynamics at play when you are at “The Top”.

eagle top

Zig Ziglar’s famous book, “See you at the Top” written some twenty five years ago wasn’t the first nor will it be the last to attract leaders globally with the focus of being at the top! But what does that mean? To be a leader is a huge responsibility. To whom much is given, much is certainly expected. When you rise up to significant leadership positions of a company or a team, you will have all eyes on you for stand-apart organizational and inspirational direction. However, I find that most leaders, myself included- are much harder on ourselves.

We set our own bar EXCEPTIONALLY (freakin) HIGH.

As we work with people, we find that we are deeply involved/invested in their professional bliss, and their challenges. But we also find ourselves in the midst of their personal ups and downs too. Leadership today isn’t a neatly compartmentalized system. Leaders come along side of the people looking to us for inspired direction, and we do not draw those Black and White lines in the sand. So- we as leaders find ourselves exposed. We are exposed to people’s tragedies, toxins and toils. A World Changing leader knows how to authentically help and direct, but not to metabolize and hang on to those toxins inwardly.

9) Eyesight – An eagle’s eye is at least four times as powerful and sharp as that of a person with perfect vision.

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What is it like, to see clearly from miles and miles away- when others can only see in the short distance? World Changers must be able to not only grasp a vision that inspires themselves, but they must be able to articulate that vision outward, and enroll others successfully into that picture. 

8) Eagles do not sweat, so they use many other creative cool-down methods.

I know- Leaders DO sweat. 🙂

BUT World Changing Leaders don’t show it. Today’s leader knows when to be vulnerable. To be authentic and real in a country where we have a lot of uber superficiality that is promoted- isn’t easy. *I am a big fan of the Leader that understands the necessity and timing of intentional Vulnerability.

https://embracereal.wordpress.com/2013/09/20/leadersblack/

That said, our teams and companies do not need to see us sweat, ie; panic, freak out, over-react, project frustration onto them, or make irrational accusations or decisions. We have all seen leadership like that, be they owners, managers, team leaders or (gulp) the government. What our teams DO need to see from us, is our intentional cool/calm down methods, and come back to them clear, grounded, inspired and ready to continue partnering with them to get through the eye of any storm, together.

7) Eagles tolerate VERY cold temperatures.  A bald eagle’s skin is protected by feathers lined with down. Their feet are cold resistant.

Leaders can take subzero temperatures.

Economy turns. Employee challenges. Stiff Competition. Cultural Apathy. The most difficult decisions. High Stakes meetings. Pressure. Extreme COLD and extreme HEAT.

Simon Cowell, creator of American Idol, once told Oprah Winfrey “I have to be that tough on the contestants. If they cannot handle me, my feedback and challenging them, they are no where near ready to face Hollywood and the cold hard press.” How very true. Likewise, if you are too sensitive and defensive, taking everything personally, you will never make it long term as a manager or Entrepreneur. It will destroy you. Not everyone is cut out for the pressure. We all have different, amazing gifts. That is the beautiful thing.

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6) Beak.  A Bald Eagle’s beak is a strong weapon, but is also delicate enough to groom a mate’s feathers or feed a small portion of food to a newly hatched chick. The beak of a captive eagle is not worn down naturally, so it must be trimmed annually.

I think this is a great metaphor for our powerful voice as a leader.

finding-your-voice

Leaders do well when they are passionate, eloquent, profound, and phenomenal speakers; from the large crowds to an intimate one on one. Our words have the power to heal, help, and honor. Our words can also wound, tear, and destroy. We must be vigilant to be truly responsible for what we say. Are our words valuable, helpful, wise and thought out? If not, trim back the beak! Get a Life and Leadership Mastery Coach to objectively help. And remember, an “I’m sorry” from a leader is powerful- when it’s authentic. We all screw things up sometimes. World Changers own their mistakes.

5) Talons.  Eagles can open and close their talons at will. If an eagle is dragged into the water by a fish too large for the eagle to lift, it is because the eagle refuses to release it. In some cases this is due to hunger.

eagle-fish_1851515i

My friend and mentor Les Brown says “You’ve got to be HUNGRY!”

Hungry IS good. But, scarcity; emotionally, physically, financially, or spiritually for too long- isn’t good. When the fish is too big, or you are not ready, drop it before YOU go completely under. There was a time many years ago that after economic turns, competitive pressures, and a bogus former employee law suit all came into play… I realized that a business I had started, also needed to come to a close. It wasn’t easy at that time. I had prepared for the GO GO GO do do do! I had not realized that some dreams are for a time, and they are meant to end too. Those are the lessons, and our teachers, and they are for a time. It’s OK. If a business, relationship, habit, behavior, addiction, job, or whatever is dragging you under, please- don’t go down with the Titanic. Open your talons and let go! Create the space in your hands and heart for the magnificent fish that is coming, that is the perfect one for RIGHT NOW.

4) Most Birds of Prey look back over their shoulder before they move forward in a hunt. Not Eagles.

Some look back. Don’t.

In my favorite book it says: “Forgetting what is behind, and reaching forth unto what lies ahead. I press on towards the goal!” Phil 3:13.

We cannot actually forget the past. But we can absolutely learn from it, move on from it, and put our energy into this very moment and beyond. That is what future achievements are made up of… starting right NOW. It’s about this moment. Let us begin.

3) Eagles Glide.

With a massive wingspan of up to eight feet, their wings victoriously spread out wide.

To help them soar, eagles use thermals which are rising currents of warm air. Soaring or gliding is accomplished with minimal wing-flapping, enabling them to conserve precious energy. Long-distance flights are accomplished by climbing high in a thermal, then gliding downward to catch the next thermal. Their wings are strong but heavy, so this is a VITAL part of the survival mechanism of the Eagle. Eagles are considered master fliers. They can fly to heights that no other bird can. They have been seen flying as high as some of our airplanes fly.

Several eagles soaring in a thermal together is described as a “Kettle of Eagles.”

eagles 2

So World Changers… jump off that cliff. You were born to. You were trained and educated to. You must! Find the warm winds. Use your powerful wings. But also remember to glide, rest, meditate, and lean on your amazing team. Don’t pump those huge wings all the time! You don’t need too, and you may burn out. Soar when you can. You will need that energy later.

2) Though eagles mate for life, they often fly alone.

World Changing Leaders are loyal. We care about relationships and have learned how to succeed in them. Our families are very important to us.

There are days when leaders feel alone. Make sure that when you need help- you reach out for it. Find a “Kettle of Eagles” to fly in; a mastermind group, a Master Life Coach, a small group that you can be supported by, collaborate and laugh with. World changers do not have to do it all alone.

1) Eagles Live on Higher Ground.Don’t ever sell out!

World Changers are honest. They are compassionate. They give. They give when no one knows they are giving. They don’t create followers, they help support other emerging leaders! They take the high road, the road much less traveled. And that WILL make all the difference. World Changers live on Higher Ground.

world changer

Many Blessings,
sheli  G
CILC | CMC | CEBC
www.shelig.com
CEO Women Ignite Idaho Conference and Trade Show
WomenIgniteIdaho.com
International Speaker
Master Certified Business Coach
World Changer Leadership & Life Mastery Coach
“It’s time to ignite the World Changer in YOU!” ~sheli G

Facebook LinkedIn WordPress YouTube pinterest
Contact me: Skype coach.sheli

The New Black… for LEADERS

Vulnerability.

What does that word bring up for you?

Open. Victim. Brave. Weak. Insecure. Truth-telling.

vulnerable oprah

We tend to associate vulnerability with beliefs, people, and places that we have experienced in our past. In the English language, Vulnerability can reference various states of being, depending on the assumed or referenced context;

  • the state of being vulnerable or exposed
  • easily hurt or harmed physically, mentally, financially or emotionally

Most of the Vulnerability definitions you can find online are pretty much referring to an old-school, “bad news” come-from.

If you are military for example, you are trained not to be vulnerable, because vulnerability leaves you open to attack. This is similar to the old Corporate leadership structure. Act tough. Be “strong”. Represent a fortress-like presence so that everyone will respect you, be intimidated by you, and assume you do not have any weak spots they can prey upon.

vulnerable 1

This doesn’t work anymore.
There are certainly moments or situations to “shore up” ourselves, and not be opened up wide. Not every situation or person is safe. However, all of us are vincible, whether we act strong all the time or not. And we all know this- not only about ourselves, but about mankind in general. (cat’s out of the bag!) It used to be fashionable to act tough all the time. But these days, the new coolness, the must-have tool in any leaders tool-belt, the new Black for Leaders is: Healthy Vulnerability, by choice.

Healthy Vulnerability…. What?
“Vulnerability is the absolute heartbeat of innovation and creativity,” Brene Brown says. “There can be zero innovation without vulnerability.” Brene has a couple of very powerful and humorous TED TALKS on Vulnerability. Brené Brown Ph.D. LMSW is an American scholar, author, and public speaker, who is currently a research professor at the University of Houston

Entrepreneurs, Leaders, Managers, CEO’s, Bloggers, thought leaders…we are all vulnerable. Yup. There you have it. Don’t fight it. You’re expending pointless energy if you resist- something leaders don’t like to do! The minute we choose into putting ourselves, our beliefs, our ideas out there, we are vulnerable. The more you do it, the more vulnerable you are. To be a WORLD CHANGER, vulnerability is a huge key to success.

vulnerable armsAccording to Brown, vulnerability is: the combination of uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure.
Hmmm. This is pretty much entrepreneurship.
I know- I’ve been in it since 1995. Vulnerability is the natural culture of what we do. To pretend you are not vulnerable, is to lack authenticity. It’s tough to respect, much less follow that leader. He or she is perpetuating an atmosphere of denial and anxiety. It’s real, it’s healthy, and it is more courageous for every leader to be OK with healthy vulnerability. We ask our teams to do it. So- how can we inspire our teams to be honest, and take searching self-inventories of what IS working, and what is NOT working, if we do not lead them by example?  It is what I do, not just what I say. And if what I say and do are not in alignment, (that includes alignment with the companies results) it’s quite obvious.

So, just be pathetic all the time? To everyone?

vulnerable question

Um…No 🙂

Again, vulnerability is powerful when it’s accessed at the proper time, place and crowd.

I am not saying go drinking with your peeps, and totally breakdown, with no resolve or value as a net result. (really- don’t do this)
I am also not implying you should tell all your deepest secrets to your whole team or company.

I am not saying cry all the time. That would be exhausting. 🙂

Balance and being intuitively appropriate are also leadership keys.
You don’t throw out those other skills that you have worked so hard to cultivate. You integrate them all, intuitively.

Some leaders go to extremes. “I want to be strong and have them believe I can do anything! I don’t want to be vulnerable and show my fears, failures or weak areas…”
It’s NOT either or. It is BOTH/AND. How cool is that? Knowing what tool from your belt to use, when and how is critical.
measure
LEADERSHIP then is a customized set of skills and methods, masterfully woven together in doses, at the right times and places to be effective for all. Lots of solutions, winning and connecting will come with that combo. So will production, employee retention, and stunning innovation.
 
If you are open to it, being real about both your strengths and your blinders can be inspiring. At times you may reveal things to everyone. Sometimes that may be to a small elite mastermind group in the profession, company or team.

Sometimes both the bravado of releasing a vision, and the passion behind it, followed by humble tones of the obstacles that you face, and even a tear can be a winning combination. *I am not saying put that kind of speech together. If it’s too thought out, if it has a hook or contrived agenda- then it’s not inspiring. That’s not vulnerable, that’s manipulative theatrics. Big difference, and they can feel it.

puppet on a string

When I am speaking, I am open to all facets of my personality, strengths, and tools. I know where I am going, but I feel free to authentically use the words that come up for me in that moment, not scripted out. I also access both positivity and passion, vision casting and encouragement, with vulnerability in telling real stories, and addressing REAL challenges, so that I meet people where they are. I have had bliss and failure, and so have they. We are no different at our core. We all want to have purpose. We all want successful relationships. We all have dreams to fulfill. So resonating with your team, audience, or company, versus towering over them really works. It works because it’s connection. People dig true connection. They trust it. And trust is hard to gain these days, but so magical when you do.

vulnerable 2

An Island vs. a Village

We were not born alone, on an island. We don’t get anywhere without others, bad or good.
We accomplish things in communities of people. Family, Friends, Work, Church, Charities, Clubs…..it doesn’t really matter what we are creating; we do it better together.

happy meetingWhen a leader says: What are your ideas on this issue? Let’s brainstorm on this challenge or event…. Let’s bring all our experience, education and collective wisdom together in creating a new paradigm… THAT is inspiring. That is motivating. It’s engaging! People pay attention, and feel worthy when THEY are engaged.

That means you don’t have all the answers. And- you don’t. I don’t. That means you are taking time to listen. That means you care what others are thinking. That makes a great leader. There are times when time is short, and we just get to GO, with little collaboration. I get that. If that is most of the time, you may be trying to accomplish too much, too soon, with too little perspective and feedback. Narrow scopes offer narrow results. But there can be more time, blocked out intentionally, to collaborate and grow your company, your vision, your production, your influence and reach…by enrolling others.

To enroll others, we deserve to be vulnerable, as well as all the other traits that make a phenomenal leader. Perhaps in my next blog I will tell the story of my own personal “ONE DAY” when I totally got it, that vulnerability is paramount for a great leader. It’s mandatory for me.

Not always easy. But often necessary. And worth it.

I would love to hear YOUR comments and thoughts on vulnerability, especially for leaders. And any likes, shares…always welcome! 🙂
Many Blessings,
www.shelig.com
sheli  G
CILC | CMC | CEBC
www.shelig.com
CEO Women Ignite Idaho Conference and Trade Show
WII neon sign woman light
WomenIgniteIdaho.com
International Speaker
Master Certified Business Coach
World Changer Leadership & Life Mastery Coach
“It’s time to ignite the World Changer in YOU!” ~sheli G

Facebook LinkedIn WordPress YouTube pinterest
Contact me: Skype coach.sheli

The apology you didn’t get.

How do you deal with an apology you never received, but you know you deserve?

Are you held hostage by hurt feelings over a difficult person, or a situation from the past? It’s very easy to do.
 “Forgiveness is the economy of the heart…forgiveness saves the expense of anger, the cost of hatred, the waste of spirits.” ~Hannah More

Forgiveness sets the prisoner free. The prisoner is YOU.

prison 1

The words.The accident.The abandonment. The abuse. The cheating. The lies. The firing. The eviction. The divorce. The ego. The quitting. The depression. The running. The not trying. The judgement. The losing. The stunt. The audacity. The other woman. The other man. The double-cross. The favorite. The unfairness. The agony. The Church. The death. The addiction. The pride. The past. The selfishness. The withhold. The timing. The government. Life…..

You are right. You have a right to feel what you feel.
Why? Because they are your feelings. Sometimes- they just HAPPEN. But… how long you stay there, how long you marinade in that feeling…of anger (which is actually just a mask for big hurt and pain…) THAT my friend is up to you.

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”~Mahatma Gandhi
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So, accept an apology you never got. Take your power back. Receive it- from him, her, that, it, them… or whatever. Let it go. Let you go. It’s your pain, so you can release it. No matter what happens on the other end, you do what you can control. That’s it.

The Gathering Choose in

“Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”~Colossians 3:13

You can grant forgiveness, as you’ve probably been forgiven too.

Isn’t it ironic? Maybe someone is reading this RIGHT NOW, and thinking of something YOU said or did, or didn’t say or do that you should have…. Maybe it’s that same someone YOU need to forgive as well.

hugging


Life is short. Time to let go, and love right where we are, with what and who we have NOW. Tomorrow will be great, starting with a great NOW that you choose in this moment.

Kindness

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” ~Martin Luther King, Jr.

Let us begin…

Many Blessings,
sheli  G
Career pic
CILC | CMC | CEBC

www.shelig.com
International Speaker
Master Certified Business Coach
World Changer Leadership & Life Mastery Coach
“It’s time to unleash the World Changer in YOU!” ~sheli G

Facebook LinkedIn WordPress YouTube pinterest
Contact me: Skype coach.sheli

Snorting Coffee

So I was getting ready to speak.

sheli g 2 vid 4

We have a super cool local networking group in Idaho, lead by the amazing Brandon Wright, you can find them here:   https://www.facebook.com/HuddleShareSmokeOutGroup

I absolutely love to speak. And I, like most speakers, have my own ” Pre-game rituals ” if you will. You know, all those things that especially when you give a presentation you make sure that you do, to be on your “A” game, to feel really grounded and well prepared. So I did what all good speakers do: I kicked my family out of the house so I could study.  🙂  I made a fabulous cup of Joe. I hunkered down at the computer to hang out with Google and my stuff.

I took a big drink of my organic coffee with Coconut Vanilla creamer…YUM…..and then, it happened.

I got a little tickle in my throat.

A seemingly harmless, normally no big deal tickle. But, my throat decided the tickle was a terrorist, and chose to cough it out, HARD!  So I knew what I had to do…I held it in.

I had to hold it in.

I had my computer, keyboard, papers, iPhone… all in my line of fire and at high risk at this point. I had to soldier up, and hold that bad boy down….regardless. But this cough, it was relentless. Oh I held it down…BUT, I somehow snorted the coffee that was in my mouth, up my nasal passage the back way. Yes, yes it did come out my nose. Interesting sensation much.

SNORT-COFFEE
After the initial nasal caffeinated shock…it was funny. Very funny. I started to laugh, which made me snort again, because I am a snorter. (I just had never reverse snorted before.) I was like, “If they could only see me now; no makeup, sitting in my BSU pajamas, reverse snorting coffee…what a classy lady!!!”
It was actually a fabulous start to my morning. Laughter…it’s so incredibly important!
 

“There are a lot of performers who make people laugh. There are a lot of speakers who give solid principles for living. I want to do both.” ~Mark Gungor

Statistics show that little kids laugh 400 times a day. One study showed that adults laugh only eleven, or less.
What does Laughter do for us?
  • Boost the immune system and circulatory system
  • Enhance oxygen intake
  • Stimulate the heart and lungs
  • Relax muscles throughout the body
  • Trigger the release of endorphins (the body’s natural painkillers)
  • Ease digestion/soothes stomach aches
  • Relieve pain
  • Balance blood pressure
  • Improve mental functions (i.e., alertness, memory, creativity)
  • Improve overall attitude
  • Reduce stress/tension
  • Promote relaxation
  • Improve sleep
  • Enhance quality of life
  • Strengthen social bonds and relationships
  • Produce a general sense of well-being

I was at the Les Brown Speakers boot-camp. Les Brown is considered the Best Inspirational Speaker in the world, now that the great Zig Ziglar has passed on. He laughs so hard, SO often. You get your monies worth out of every event he puts on, just because you laugh so much and feel so good!  I noticed, as a speaker, I was holding back my laughter much of the time.  I believe it was a subconscious reaction, because my laugh is often really loud, and I snort! So when using a microphone, this is all amplified. But I realized after watching him just let it rip, that I was ripping off myself and my audience. Laughter is one of the best things ever, to relax your audience, and prepare them. Right after someone laughs, their defenses are down but for a moment in time, and you can deliver that deep thought seamlessly.

laughing

So laugh.

Don’t take yourself so seriously. Have fun. MAKE some fun. And try snorting coffee. You and your sinuses will never be so clear.

IMG_9613-001

sheli  G
CILC | CMC | CEBC

www.shelig.com
International Speaker
Master Certified Business Coach
World Changer Leadership & Life Mastery Coach
“It’s time to unleash the World Changer in YOU!” ~sheli G


Connect with me on:
https://embracereal.wordpress.com
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Do you have a special needs child?

I know what that is like. Oh, my son looks like any other kid. (OK a little bigger, like his daddy) But otherwise Traedyn Michael Gartman, aka “Trae” appears to be just fine. But Trae struggles with Anxiety, and also Sensory Processing challenges. He just started kindergarten, and I was surprised the teacher didn’t call me sooner. She called me his second day. I tried my best to prepare him, but I knew that everything school was about would be challenging for Trae to integrate into. We are all working on a plan, partnering together for Trae’s success.

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One definition of Anxiety is: An abnormal and overwhelming sense of apprehension and fear often marked by physiological signs (as sweating, tension, and increased pulse), by doubt concerning the reality and nature of the threat, and by self-doubt about one’s capacity to cope with it, a painful or apprehensive uneasiness of mind, stress over anticipation of events.

Trae’s anxious behaviors, or feelings may be simply due to his Sensory Processing disorder.
 
One definition of a Sensory disorder is: Sensory Integration disorder or dysfunction (SID) or Sensory Processing disorder (SPD) is a neurological disorder that results from the brain’s inability to integrate certain information received from the body’s five basic sensory systems. These sensory systems are responsible for detecting sights, sounds, smell, tastes, temperatures, pain, and the position and movements of the body. The brain then forms a combined picture of this information in order for the body to make sense of its surroundings and react to them appropriately. The ongoing relationship between behavior and brain functioning is called sensory integration (SI), a theory that was first pioneered by A. Jean Ayres, Ph.D., OTR in the 1960s.
According to Sensory Integration International (SII), a non-profit corporation concerned with the impact of sensory integrative problems on people’s lives, the following are some signs of sensory integration disorder (SID):
  • oversensitivity to touch, movement, sights, or sounds
  • under-reactivity to touch, movement, sights, or sounds
  • tendency to be easily distracted
  • social and/or emotional problems
  • activity level that is unusually high or unusually low
  • physical clumsiness or apparent carelessness
  • impulsive, lacking in self-control
  • difficulty in making transitions from one situation to another
  • inability to unwind or calm self
  • poor self concept
  • delays in speech, language, or motor skills
  • aggressive behavior

According to the book, The Out-of-Sync Child written by Carol Stock Kranowitz M.A., SPD (Sensory Processing Disorder) can cause a bewildering variety of symptoms. When their central nervous systems are ineffective in processing sensory information, children have a hard time functioning in daily life. They may look fine and have superior intelligence, but may be awkward and clumsy, fearful and withdrawn, or hostile and aggressive. SPD can affect not only how they move and learn, but also how they behave, how they play and make friends, and especially how they feel about themselves… This describes Trae well.

Sadly, many children with Sensory Processing Disorder are looked upon as the unruly, the Black Sheep, and the undisciplined. Parents are often made to feel their child’s reactions are due to poor parenting skills. The truth is these children with SPD often trapped in the painful, confusing world they live in. They cannot help feeling the fight-or-flight response when their sensory issues become triggered. And parents can not always predict when those triggers will occur.

I will never forget the first time a child care worker at church said to me “What is going on at home? There is a reason he has so much anger.” I thought, and I thought. There was NOTHING crazy going on at home. Nothing out of the normal, or really bad or traumatic to cause Trae’s behavior. We weren’t fighting. There had been no major changes. No major stress, other than what we all deal with as simple humans making life work. I wanted to hear the accusing feedback- if it was OUR fault. But I looked at Teisha, Trae’s older sister, and she was fine.

trae and teisha school Fall 2013

She is a totally different kid. Not just in personality, and family roles, but she didn’t have that anger, or the behavioral problems. And I watched kids from truly HARD homes…divorce, trauma, poverty etc. Many of them were better behaved. It made no logical sense to me. Steve and I are not perfect, but we sure work hard at healthy parenting. We changed parenting tactics. Worked on behaviors and consequences. We were eating healthy. We tried all that we knew, and it still wasn’t enough.

Thank God for Katie Wade.

Katie is a Behavioral Therapist. There are no accidents she works at my church and noticed Trae’s tough time. But instead of judging us, she took the time to find out what was Trae’s true challenge. She has helped us tremendously so far, and will continue to journey this path with us.

katie and trae
DoTERRA essential oils are also a huge help!
 essential oils

I am so grateful I found Lavender, Frankincense, and Vetiver, to name only a few, to help manage Trae’s anxiety and moods. He may be hyper-sensitive in some challenging ways, but that super-sensitivity also lends itself so well to natural, positive methods like Oil Therapy. It’s not just aromatherapy, it’s total body wellness. They are plant derived, and help the body heal itself. These oils can be taken internally, applied topically, and diffused into the air. I have my kids on the vitamins too. I am a huge FAN of holistic solutions that help parents avoid medications, when possible. Read more about natural remedies to every ailment here:


Perhaps it’s time for testing.
If they are struggling at school, you can request testing there. Or if that doesn’t work out, you can try to contact your local Heath Department for Early Intervention services. Or find a trusted Children’s Behavioral Therapist. Our kids deserve to receive the information, tools and support, and not feel like they are drowning in their disability. Ignorance or denial of disorders or disabilities are a huge killer of success for both kids and adults. But as parents, it’s our job to advocate for our kids. They cannot do it on their own.

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And you deserve to know, it’s not your fault. Sure, we make mistakes. And ALL our gene pools are imperfect. American diets are not generally good. (* True Organic diets do help almost all disorders, illnesses and behavioral challenges).

Do the best you can, with what you’ve got. That’s what we get to do. The challenges will arise, and we as parents and teachers can only stare them down, get educated, take proactive steps to help our kids, work hard, and take one day at a time for their ultimate SUCCESS.

We can do this. And God bless us all in the effort. It isn’t easy.

SPD it gets better

Many Blessings,
 Sheli  G
CILC | CMC | CEBC

www.shelig.com
International Speaker, Group Transformationist, Inspirational Comedian, Author 
“It’s time to unleash the World Changer in YOU!” ~sheli G

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